A blue paw turned another page of the book, revealing three paragraphs of text in an ancient script which only one person in all the universe could read. That person was Princess Eva Earlong, wife of Jazz Jackrabbit, soon-to-be-ruler of Carrotus, and owner of the blue paw. Eva always wore a very short pink dress, with no straps, just long enough to be decent. Although married to Jazz, she had to fulfill her duties as a beautiful princess, and that included turning the heads of anyone who passed her by. Eva's lovely long hair hung down behind her back like a vast golden river, defying gravity in its futile attempt to climb up her neck and nestle with ears. Not for nothing had Eva been voted "hottest female on Carrotus" five times running, an accomplishment which she could easily prove by drawing old magazine clippings out of her dress at a moment's notice.
Eva studied the page before her, mentally translating each line of otherwise unintelligible gibberish into a language which anyone could understand. Except the turtles, of course, because everyone knew that turtles were too stupid to understand anything. The general consensus was that that one turtle, Devan Shell, had only pretended to have a brain in order to make himself look cooler. Any other theories on the subject were absurd!
Soon reaching the fourth line of the strange language, Eva gasped. She had not expected anything as strange as this to be hidden in the ancient book! The rabbit princess' gasp alerted her sister in law, Lori Jackrabbit, a muscular yellow female who had just turned 18 a few days ago. Lori, for reasons she had refused to make public, wore as little as possible, confining her clothing to a small top and some exercise shorts, both dark purple. Her enormous hair was tied up by a pink ribbon, forming a mass of hair thick enough to knock unsuspecting men unconscious should she turn around too quickly. Lori had long bare legs which she worked out with in the gym every day, and was completely single, believing that boys would think her ugly. As a result, she was constantly on the lookout for anyone glancing her way, as she knew that women could not be complete without a male around to drool over them. Since first appearing out of nowhere on Carrotus a few years ago, Lori had taken over Eva's role as "hottest female on Carrotus", a victory which both rabbits largely ignored and refused to let injure their friendship.
"What is it, Eva?" asked Lori, gracefully moving her supple body over to Eva's side. "Something new in these old books?"
"Yes," said Eva, showing the book to Lori in a futile gesture. "Using my gift of languages, I've been reading this old volume which was called untranslatable by all the experts, and I've discovered a prophecy!"
Lori's eyes widened. A prophecy! This was important. Everyone knew that prophecies were only made by mystical creatures thousands of years ago, and they always came true. It was their duty as rabbits to read this prophecy and lend whatever help they could towards fulfilling it. "I'll get Jazz and Spaz," pronounced Lori, "and you can read it to us."

Five minutes later, the three Jackrabbit siblings were all seated on a large and comfortable couch, awaiting Eva's reading of the prophecy. Lori sat in the middle, watching Eva eagerly. On the left sat Lori's brother, Spaz Jackrabbit, a skinny red rabbit about the same age as Lori. Spaz had probably never heard of the word "cleanliness", as his unwashed fur took the form of spikes jutting out in every direction, and his enormous bloodshot eyes indicated little tolerance for sleep. His mouth was by default open and drooling. Officially, Spaz had a slight mental problem, but most people saw him as little more than a dangerous nuisance and expressed their relief that Lori was nothing like her brother by buying swimsuit calendars.
On the other side of the couch was the oldest Jackrabbit sibling, and Eva's husband, Jazz. Jazz was a large green rabbit who wore no clothes other than a pair of wristbands, much like Spaz but without the mental excuse. Jazz was famous for having defeated some turtle a few times, but everyone knows that turtles are stupid, so it probably wasn't all that hard. In any case, he always carried a big blue gun around. Eva had been quoted as not being particularly pleased with her husband, and was careful to be on the lookout in case someone better should come along and take notice of her somewhat impractical outfit.
Eva cleared her throat and began to read from the prophecy. She had taken the time to rewrite the text slightly so it flowed perfectly in the more modern language, but the content was almost exactly the same as it had been in the original.
"There will come a man,
to the planet Carrotus
and the man will have very
great power.

The man will be found
by two of the three
and brought to the one
like a zero.

The man will be fought
by his own anti-man
in two thousand years
(give or take)."
When she was finished, the Jackrabbits were speechless. This fit all the qualifications of a prophecy - it was strangely sing song, annoyingly vague, particularly useless and yet somehow important sounding.
"When was this great prophecy written?" asked Spaz, his voice full of wonder.
"About two thousand years ago," said Eva, "give or take."
Such was the majesty of Eva's words, and the gorgeous impracticality of her outfit, that her audience could not help but doubt her. And yet, the males were stupid and boring and decided to forget about the prophecy and go about their business. Lori and Eva stared helplessly after them before turning back to the prophecy in hope of finding some new meaning in the text.

A very short while later, Jazz and Spaz were walking through the gardens of Carrotus castle, talking blandly of matters which were doubtless very important to people with nothing better to do than ruling the planet. Suddenly, the story got a lot more interesting as the sky blazed with the power of a thousand suns. Jazz and Spaz pointed towards the sky with wonder and almost burned their eyes out trying to see.
"Whoa!" cried Spaz. Suddenly, the intensity of the light diminished, and a fireball could be seen falling from the sky. In seconds, it had hit the ground a few feet away from the two rabbits, and created an enormous crater.
"A meteor!" cried Jazz, grabbing his gun from where it had been leaning against a carrot. "Come on, let's check it out! Meteors are always full of money and precious stones!"