Most of you wonder who Fooruman is. A little history that BN did not mention in this interview is where the name came from. It takes off from Saruman, the wizard from the Lord of the Rings.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
get comfortable
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
and let old BN tell you the tale.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
;p
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
Fooruman was originally just a ripped image from Hocus Pocus.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
He had no character, no personality, and no name.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
One day, Spotty used this unnamed wizard in a Foo Race.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
I told him the race rocked, but really it sucked sucked sucked.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
I told him I was going to make a few changes.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
I gave the wizard the name Fooruman.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
Then, I added some cheap effects to the level
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
to make it look like he was using ‘foo spells’.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
This is how Fooruman was originally created.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
We thought we would use him only in that race, race11,
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
but the race was immensely popular.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
No one quite knows why, though.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
Anyway, about 17 Foo Races later, Fooruman was still popular.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
But a question came to peoples’ minds:
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
How did Fooruman come into existance? How was Castle Foo built?
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
Why was Fooruman Master Foo?
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
So Spotty and I started work on a race trilogy called: Project Prequel.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
In this trilogy, players saw that originally Fooruman was a friendly, nice guy.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
He was building Castle Foo from the ground up.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
His ultimate goal in doing this was to overthrow the current Master Foo, SPOTTY, and to claim the title for himself.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
Players learned from this why Spotty was so opposed to Fooruman.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
But Fooruman’s efforts were in vain.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
He could not become Master Foo.

[»ŁÁb ŔáT kïĐ«] says:
Err, sir?
[»ŁÁb ŔáT kïĐ«] says:
I have a question ;p
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
what
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
;p

[»ŁÁb ŔáT kïĐ«] says:
What exactly IS a master foo?
[»ŁÁb ŔáT kïĐ«] says:
Please tell my viewers and I what this is.
[»ŁÁb ŔáT kïĐ«] says:

(we’ll be back shortly after these messages)
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
a Master Foo was, at the time, the king of all foos. Everyone looked up to this fooish supreme ruler.

[»ŁÁb ŔáT kïĐ«] says:
And, what do you have to do to become a master foo, and what did Fooruman attempt?
[»ŁÁb ŔáT kïĐ«] says:

(Stup baby gap song plays in the background)
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
To become master foo, you needed to prove you were the biggest foo alive.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
Fooruman attempted to make pathetic castles and learn the dark art of Foo Spells.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
Now, where was I?

[»ŁÁb ŔáT kïĐ«] says:
Fooruman’s efforts failing, sir.
[»ŁÁb ŔáT kïĐ«] says:
We now return to our presentation of BN LIVE : FOORUMAN UNCENSORED
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
ah, yes.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
Now, as I was saying,
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
Fooruman’s efforts to become Master Foo were in vain.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
He tried, sure, but Spotty was simply a bigger foo than him.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
Fooruman went mad.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
He attempted repeatedly to dethrone Spotty, using his Foo Magic.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
Each time he failed.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
But then, one day,
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
Fooruman learned a new Foo Spell.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
The ‘killer’ spell.
[»ŁÁb ŔáT kïĐ«] says:
As seen in the foo races with the stairs?
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
Indeed.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
It promised to drop crates full of dynamite onto Spotty’s head.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
So for weeks, months, years
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
Fooruman planned
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
his overthrowing of Spotty.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
One day, he finally did it.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
He hid behind Spotty one day, and simply used the spell.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
It was all over for Spotty; there was no way to escape.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
So, the nation presumed Spotty was dead.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
They elected Fooruman as Master Foo.

[»ŁÁb ŔáT kïĐ«] says:
Now, one question.
[»ŁÁb ŔáT kïĐ«] says:
What this Foo government a democratic government?
[»ŁÁb ŔáT kïĐ«] says:
Or, was it communist?
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
It was actually a new form of government.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:

ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
ack
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:

( brb )
[»ŁÁb ŔáT kïĐ«] says:
We will return after these messages.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
Back.
[»ŁÁb ŔáT kïĐ«] says:
IT’S THE ALL NEW FREAKY FRIDAY MOVIE
[»ŁÁb ŔáT kïĐ«] says:

(It’s twenty blocks mom!!!!)
[»ŁÁb ŔáT kïĐ«] says:

(Chinese fortune yada ya)
[»ŁÁb ŔáT kïĐ«] says:

(It’s a new Disney movie)
[»ŁÁb ŔáT kïĐ«] says:

(Opening soon)
[»ŁÁb ŔáT kïĐ«] says:

(PS: It sucks)
[»ŁÁb ŔáT kïĐ«] says:
NOW WE RETURN TO THE CLASSIC PRESENTATION OF FOORUMAN : UNCENSORED
[»ŁÁb ŔáT kïĐ«] says:
Welcome back. I’m LAb RaT kiD, and this is our guest speaker, Black Ninja.
[»ŁÁb ŔáT kïĐ«] says:
Let’s hear it for him and Fooruman.
[»ŁÁb ŔáT kïĐ«] says:

(yay)
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
there is silence
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
Well
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
as I was saying
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
…what was I saying?
[»ŁÁb ŔáT kïĐ«] says:
You were talking about the government.
[»ŁÁb ŔáT kïĐ«] says:
Please tell us about the government.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
Ah, yes.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
the Foocratic government was a form of Communism.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
The only difference was that
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
the biggest foo was ruler, and what he said was law.
[»ŁÁb ŔáT kïĐ«] says:
Big.. as in size?
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
in other words, the foo that was the most fooish.
[»ŁÁb ŔáT kïĐ«] says:
I see.
[»ŁÁb ŔáT kïĐ«] says:
Please, go on.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
That’s all about the government, really.
[»ŁÁb ŔáT kïĐ«] says:
Oh.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
Now, where was I in the story?
[»ŁÁb ŔáT kïĐ«] says:
Thank you for clearing that up.
[»ŁÁb ŔáT kïĐ«] says:
You just said that he was elected, I believe.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
Ah, yes.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
Spotty had died, or so all the people thought.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
Fooruman was elected, but was still mad.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
Insane, that is.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
Later,
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
Fooruman found a rabbit named Black Ninja.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
This rabbit was obsessed with him…he would do ANYTHING to serve the Master Foo, Fooruman.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
Fooruman took him in and made him 2nd in command.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
That is the end of Fooruman’s tale, but not the end of this story.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
Spotty, of course, was not dead.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
He was suffering greatly, but lived.
[»ŁÁb ŔáT kïĐ«] says:
Now, what was Spotty? Was he a rabbit?
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
Yes.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
Spotty was forced to live off the street, using a cardboard box for housing.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
One dark night, it was raining.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
Spotty was looking for shelter, when a mysterious being came to him.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
The creature said: My name is Unfooruman. I know all about what happened to you. I can help you.
[»ŁÁb ŔáT kïĐ«] says:
“Creature?” Explain.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
To this date it is uncertain exactly what Unfooruman was.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
Now, may I continue?
[»ŁÁb ŔáT kïĐ«] says:
Yes.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
So, as I was saying, Spotty met Unfooruman.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
Spotty asked him why he was against Fooruman so strongly.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
Unfooruman simply replied “That is why I was created.”
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
Unfooruman took Spotty in and housed him in a strange place. To this date the location of the place is unknown.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
So, the two teamed up to overthrow Fooruman.
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
That is the end of the tale for now.
[»ŁÁb ŔáT kïĐ«] says:
Will the story ever be completed?
ßlänk Ñïñjà says:
certainly.
[»ŁÁb ŔáT kïĐ«] says:
Thank you, and thank you to all our viewers for watching FOORUMAN : UNCENSORED.
[to be continued… some day]


Comments

Violet CLM on August 07, 2003 04:00

Have you considered… ummm… merging some lines? Or at the very least, bold tags to show when it switches between talking people?

I might add I’d expect someone like Fooruman to attempt to build his castle from the top down.

FQuist on August 08, 2003 04:00

Please add some mark up to this interview. It’s against the rules not to do that.

Lark on August 08, 2003 04:00

Yes, your Fquistness. All done.

<b>I am tired of typing this command ;p</b>

>CelL< on August 16, 2003 04:00

Sniff. How romantic.

Spotty on August 18, 2003 04:00

Even I learned something ;P.

BeckY on August 19, 2003 04:00

Uh….I will someday be the master foo >)

FQuist on September 13, 2003 04:00

Sorry, jj2 related interviews only.

Taz on September 22, 2003 04:00

I hate stories that stop on the most exciting (bleh) moment.

Cazz NP on October 25, 2003 04:00

ONE DAY I’LL KILL ALL FOOS! MUHAHAHAHAHA!

the real one Bjarni on November 02, 2003 05:00

Lábrátkïð or Łąζŗãťĸįð?

Sacrush on November 12, 2003 05:00

Weird interview!!!

snzspeed on April 23, 2004 04:00

weird interview indeed. ;P

the WINNER on January 30, 2005 09:47

This is JJ2 related. The foo races are jj2 levels.

DaPete10 on September 02, 2005 00:18

Fooruman\‘s name in Hocus Pocus is Terexin. See the \“Legends and Hints\” option in the main menu of HP if you don\‘t believe me.

Violet CLM on September 03, 2005 20:11

Terexin is Fooruman\‘s cousin. They just happen to use the same drawing. Trust us, we are (or at least I am) experts on Hocus Pocus.