Tales of text and infinate randomness
 

Since ToU is idle, I thought I would create an adventure simular to the first topic.

Rules of ToU apply here. For convenience, Here is a copy (Slightly modified).

Got it? Good! Let's start!



You are standing in the middle of a dark room. You are unsure of your location and who you are. feeling around the infinate blackness, knocking over stuff as you go, you find a knob on the wall and a string dangling from the ceiling near the knob.

Pull the string.

Sit in a corner and cry.

>Pull the string.

You pull the string. The room floods with light. you are in a medium-sized room filled with average home stuff. looking at the stuff you knocked over, you find that you smashed a vase filled with flowers. upon closer inspection, you find the vase was a priceless Ancient vase worth about 130,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 dollars. the shock of this causes you to sit in a corner and cry.

There is a knob below a hammer here.
There is a Smashed Vase here
There is a pile of Flowers here
There is a Book here

there are exits to the NORTH and EAST

(There is a pile of flowers*)

Read book! Books are good for you!

>Read book! Books are good for you!

The book is labeled "Browning's Power Transmission Solutions" and is a catalog 3255 pages thick. You start at page 1 and after learning of Browning's full selection of sprockets, pullys and belts, you fall asleep before getting to the the gearboxes. You wake up drooling on the book, making it complely soggy.

You have learned how to be mechanically boring, and that reading CAN be bad for you.

There is a Knob below a hammer here.
There is a Smashed Vase here
There is a pile of Flowers here
There is a soggy Book here

there are exits to the NORTH and EAST

Note the objects capible of being manipulated are capitalized

Fix smashed vase.

Use the hammer to pulverize the book.

>Fix smashed vase.

It would be best to find some glue first

>Use the hammer to pulverize the book.

You attempt to take the hammer off the wall, but it seems to be attached to a mechanism inside the wall, only allowing it to swing. It seems the knob triggers the mechanism, as turning the knob does nothing, but pushing it give you a major concussion.

doing some post-witless thinking, you put the book under the hammer and push the knob. the book is now wood pulp!

There is a Knob below a hammer here.
There is a Smashed Vase here
There is a pile of Flowers here
There is some Wood Pulp here

there are exits to the NORTH and EAST

Head north, perheps there is some glue in there.

Use wood pulp as glue

>Use wood pulp as glue

Try as you might, you can't get the pieces to stick. Maybe the book was not made of that stamp paper with the glue on it D=

>Head north

You enter a room filled with boarded-up windows. The floor is covered with broken glass, and the furniture is battered, thrown around and ransacked. You eagerly start searching through the stuff hoping to find somthing, but only find some screws. A rabbit with a shotgun steps out of a corner looking at you quizzically. "So you are awake" he says "Took long enough, and what the hell are ya doin, searching everything like you are in a text adventure?"

There is a broken chair here
There is a pile of Debris here
There is a selection of Screws here
There is a Spent shotgun shell here
There is a Rabbit with a Shotgun here

There are exits to the NORTH and SOUTH

Take the screws and the shotgun shell, and ask the rabbit where you are

It's just a rabbit, right? Rabbits can't use shotguns. Rabbits are too small and lacktrigger fingers!

Take the rabbit's shotgun!

>Take the screws and the shotgun shell

You have taken the Screws and Spent shotgun shell

>Ask the rabbit where you are

"So, uh, where the heck am I?" you ask the rabbit. He scratches his chin. "Well, You are in a abandoned farmhouse about 25 miles from the nearest town. We found you to the North, near a fence, smoldering."

>Take the rabbit's shotgun!

You reach for the rabbit's shotgun, but he racks in a shell. "Hey! Get your own!"

There is a broken chair here
There is a pile of Debris here
There is a Rabbit with a Shotgun here

INVENTORY
-Selection of Screws
-Spent Shotgun Shell

There are exits to the NORTH and SOUTH

Drop to your hands and knees and bark like a dog.

Eat loose screws.

>Drop to your hands and knees and bark like a dog.

After thinking of this, you decide that acting like a dog in front of a rabbit with a loaded shotgun is not the best way to impress people, much less survive

>Eat loose screws.

You take the yummiest looking screw, (Mmmmmmm, zinc plating!) flick it into the air and gulp it down. The rabbit appears none too impressed with your antic - It's more of a blank stare as if he's pondering how on earth you have the intelligence to breathe.

The rabbit sighs. "How this doofus survived past the black forest; I do not know..."

Oh well, you at least have taken your annual supply of metals!

There is a broken chair here
There is a pile of Debris here
There is a Rabbit with a Shotgun here

INVENTORY
-Selection of Screws
-Spent Shotgun Shell

There are exits to the NORTH and SOUTH

Use the remaining screws to repair the broken chair.

Take a leg of the broken chair

>Politely ask the rabbit if he could lend you his shotgun

"Can I please borrow your shotgun?" you ask. The rabbit raises a eyebrow "Why the hell are you so interested in my shotgun? Ask me nicely and I might tag along, you dumb-" "Okay, okay, I get the point!" you say.

>Use the remaining screws to repair the broken chair

The chair looks like it went though a wood chipper. You look at your handful o' screws and decide that no amount of screws would repair the chair.

The rabbit notices you looking at the chair. "That was sweet. I was shooting at zombies, and the chair got in the way. The zombie chair did not know what hit it!"

>Take a leg of the broken chair

You take a 6-inch long section of the chair leg. That's the longest part of the leg left. It also smells funny.

There is a broken chair here
There is a pile of Debris here
There is a Rabbit with a Shotgun here

INVENTORY
-Selection of Screws
-Spent Shotgun Shell
-Funny-smelling chair leg

There are exits to the NORTH and SOUTH

Sprint North as fast as physically possible.

>Sprint North as fast as physically possible
You break into a run and run headfirst into the closed (and locked) door. The rabbit starts laughing.

There is a broken chair here
There is a pile of Debris here
There is a Rabbit with a Shotgun here

INVENTORY
-Selection of Screws
-Spent Shotgun Shell
-Funny-smelling chair leg

There are exits to the NORTH (Locked) and SOUTH

Look for treasure under the debris.

>Ask the rabbit why is the door locked

"Err, why is the door locked?" you ask, Shaking the stars off "didn't the chair give it away? There is a hoard of ZOMBIE CHAIRS outside that door." From that explaination, you guess he won't open it for you... Yet.

>Look for treasure under the debris.

"WHERE'S THE SHINEY?!?" You yell as you dive into the pile of debris. Unfortuately, the SHINEY slept in, and you did not find it.

There is a broken chair here
There is a pile of Debris here
There is a Rabbit with a Shotgun here

INVENTORY
-Selection of Screws
-Spent Shotgun Shell
-Funny-smelling chair leg

There are exits to the NORTH (Locked) and SOUTH

HINT Guys: Why don't you talk to the rabbit some more. He seems to know the area and the HISTORY.

Ask the rabbit (incidentally!) what he knows of the vace ,without mentioning you know it's location.

Tell the rabbit that there's a stuck knob in the room you came from, and ask him if he'd mind helping you press it in.

Mention that you happen to have empty slots in your party

>Mention that you happen to have empty slots in your party

"Hey, you looking to form a team?" "Well, seeing you have the intelligence of a suicidal bilge rat, and defying any logic that anyone, including me, had, I think I will!"

Peter Rabbit has joined the party!

"Now then," Peter says "What shall we do?"


>Tell the rabbit that there's a stuck knob in the room you came from, and ask him if he'd mind helping you press it in.

"Well, there is a knob in the other room that is stuck. Do you want to help me push it in?" you ask.

"Only if YOU stand under the hammer"


>Ask the rabbit what he knows of the vase ,without mentioning you know it's location.

"Say, I saw a vase somewhere in the other room. I was wondering what you knew about it?"

Peter cocks his head "Is this anything to do with the sobbing I heard several minutes ago?"

"Uhhhhh, maybe?"

"Well, that vase was sent eons ago by aliens to the center of the earth. in the Pre-Cambrian era, the great Xai-Ten'gai, the great Chinese miner, sacrificed his life to bring it to the surface, where forces, good and evil, have fought for it over the past 15 centuries. It is said to grant wishes, but to this day, no one knows it's true power."

"You made that up."

"True, but you were the one to ask about a useless piece of glass."

There is a broken chair here
There is a pile of Debris here
There is a Rabbit with a Shotgun here

INVENTORY
-Selection of Screws
-Spent Shotgun Shell
-Funny-smelling chair leg

There are exits to the NORTH (Locked) and SOUTH

wield the chair leg and venture south

>wield the chair leg

You pull out the chair leg. "BEHOLD! EXCALICHAIR!"

>venture south

you are in a medium-sized room filled with average home stuff.

There is a Knob below a hammer here.
There is a Smashed Vase here
There is a pile of Flowers here
There is some Wood Pulp here

INVENTORY
-Selection of Screws
-Spent Shotgun Shell
-Funny-smelling chair leg

there are exits to the NORTH and EAST

Wield the pile of flowers and venture east.

>wield the flowers

You put the fly-attracting chair leg back into the invintory and pick up the flowers "BEHOLD! EXCALIBELLIS!"

"Are you aways this overenthusiastic?" Peter asks

>venture east

You enter what was a kitchen. The cooking stove has be pulled out, and a wood furnace put in it's place. various utencils are here, and a supply of cleaning products

A Badger and another rabbit are here. "Ah, he awake!" The Badger exclaims. Both both look at you, your teammate and your "Weapon", unsure if you are preparing to start a quest or ask them for a date.

There is some Glue here
There is a Bottle of windex here
There is a Mushroom here
There is a Knife here
There is a Soup spoon here
There is a Can here
There is a Badger here
There is a Rabbit here

INVENTORY
-Selection of Screws
-Spent Shotgun Shell
-Funny-smelling chair leg

there are exits to the WEST and SOUTH

Get some glue on the funny-smelling chair leg.

Ask the badger out on a date.

>Eat the mushroom

You take a bite from the mushroom, and the rabbit turns green, the badger has a extremly long neck and breathes fire, and Peter's shotgun starts to look attractive.

Shroom's effect: 3 posts

>Get some glue on the funny-smelling chair leg.

You grab the glue and bring it near the chair leg, but the leg starts to talk to you "I'll be sticky if you do that!

A little freaked out, you set the glue down.

>Ask the badger out on a date.

You approch the fire-breathing-graffe-badger and slur out "You look reallllll purdy, man. Want to do sssssomthing tonight?" His beauty when he speaks "No" knocks you over.

Your mouth hurts. I wonder why...

There is some Glue here
There is a shimmering Bottle of windex here
There is a Mushroom with shades here
There is a Knife with sexy lips here
There is a huge Soup spoon here
There is a smiling Can here
There is a fire-breathing-graffe-Badger here
There is a green Rabbit here

INVENTORY
-Selection of Screws
-Spent Shotgun Shell
-Funny-smelling chair leg

PARTY (Inventory)

- Peter (Attractive shotgun, shotgun shells, big eyes)

there are exits to the WEST and SOUTH

Take the spoon and the windex, then venture west. Let them all know they can follow you if they are interested in saving the world

What exactly is the main character anyway? A rabbit? A person? Or some other random creature?

>Look at yourself

You seem to remember that you were a lynx, but you see yourself as a grey housecat with gibbon arms.

>Let them all know they can follow you if they are interested in saving the world

"I'm going to SAVE THE WORLD! That world that is outside right now with two burly bad guys beating it's head with crowbars! I want you to JOIN ME!"

The two laugh at you. "That isn't very nice to do that with the hero!" you say, dodging the imaginary bursts of fire from the badger as the flames threaten to singe your hair. "At least let's save the cheese!"

The badger says "Offer again when you are not stoned!"

>Take the spoon and the windex

You have taken the giant spoon (Hey! It fills the room, yet is light as a feather!) And the Shimmering Windex.

>Throw the can at the fire-breathing badger, screaming "Be gone, demon!"

*Some events that are too graphic and "Trippy" to describe later...*

You are lying in a small room with a dirt floor. You head hurts, there are several boards on top of you and the sun is winking at you through the patchy roof. You get up and dust yourself off. You hear some voices. "Wow. I didn't know you can swing that hard!" "Yeah considering those floorboard are solid!" "Say, I didn't know this house had a basement in it?" " Think the old farmer's loot would be there, Peter?" "Maybe"

The shelves are talking gibberish at you. The jars of ancient preserves are making funny faces at you. This is the worst Trip ever!

There are some Mocking Jars here
There is a grinning box here
There are some vampiric floorboards here
There is a pile of angry magazines here

MUSHROOM'S EFFECT: 2 POSTS

INVENTORY
-Selection of Screws
-Spent Shotgun Shell
-Funny-smelling chair leg
-Bottle of Windex
-Kitchen Spoon
-Flowers

PARTY (Inventory)

- Peter (Attractive shotgun, shotgun shells, big eyes) (Not in this location)

There is a caved in stairway to the WEST, and a hole UP

Take the Mocking Jars, the Grinning Box, the Vampiric Floorboards, and the Angry Magazines, then venture UP