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***Violet CLM*** · 02:02 PM

Mmm... not too bad. Grammar needs work, often a lot of work, and there seems to be a lot of jumping between thoughts which could be handled better, but I like the general premise.

*Violet CLM* Administrator Joined: Mar 2001 Posts: 11,287 Mar 27, 2005, 10:11 PM #3
Mmm... not too bad. Grammar needs work, often a lot of work, and there seems to be a lot of jumping between thoughts which could be handled better, but I like the general premise. Last edited by Violet CLM; Mar 28, 2005 at 02:02 PM.