...shut up.

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Page has been added to the Thirdnote.

Leetzan (I don't care how it's spelled 9_9) casts Hypnotism Ward, but the spell doesn't seem to be working. Odd.

Uber secret message from the Gremlin Guru!:
12415016514214504016514214517016514215116404016514 21511630401651421571601651421451560540401471651421 45156165142151165142165163056

O_O

OH GOOD SPORK NO.

Apparently, the stuff that happened on this website wiped out all our hard work up till this point, putting us back at Mary's room...

I'll do you all a favor and get you past here.

Leetzan says, "Heay, one's old bean, twoh, the Gremlin Guru says that the exit os open. Come ohn! Absolutely top hole - I have to say," in her corrupted english accent. She drags you and Fooruman out of the closet, past Mary, out the exit, up a winding corridor. You soon come to a stop outside a huge steel door (like the ones in those bank vaults) with a computer screen and keyboard attached. The CD Player Guy puts in the Star Wars Episode One: The Phantom Menace Soundtrack as you look at the computer screen:

PLEASE LOGIN:
Username:
Password:

BLARGH. What course of action do you wish to take?

Get L33tz4n to uberhack the computer and basically pwn it. Hopefully we'll be able to dodge SmarterChild.

Oh, and which track is the CD guy playing? (from which part of the film)

At last, signs of life!

Leetzan uberhacks the login screen.

USERNAME: George5k
PASSWORD: pieisgood

Welcome, George5k. I'm Smarterchild version 2.0. =) How can I be of assisstance? I have a screwdriver.

Leetzan tries to uberhack SM, but he seems to be hackerproof.

The current music is the podracing sequence where Anakin's pod malfunctions mid-race. (I forget the exact track)

Originally Posted by Lem_Gambino

At last, signs of life!

Leetzan uberhacks the login screen.

USERNAME: George5k
PASSWORD: pieisgood

Welcome, George5k. I'm Smarterchild version 2.0. =) How can I be of assisstance? I have a screwdriver.

Leetzan tries to uberhack SM, but he seems to be hackerproof.

The current music is the podracing sequence where Anakin's pod malfunctions mid-race. (I forget the exact track)

That's annoying - we still have to deal with SmarterChild.

Type: "You can assist the most by opening the door."

Also download the dungeon map again. It got eaten by the web host.

Originally Posted by BoggyB

Also download the dungeon map again. It got eaten by the web host.

You look in the "My Documents" folder and find the dungeon map in the recently opened files. It looks like this:

UNFOORUMAN'S FORTRESS
Entrance
Corridor 1
Dragon Chamber
Corridor 2
Mary's Home
Corridor 3 <---YOU ARE HERE
Egam Maze
Corridor 4 and Beholder Room
Teleporting Hatch Room
Villain's Break Room
Unfoorman's Lair

There are also several employees' only service tunnels and shortcuts winding throughout to fortress.

C:\>You can assist the most by opening the door.
BAD COMMAND OR FILE NAME
SC sez: "I have a screwdriver."

What, did you think it would be that easy? >=D Here's a hint: the screwdriver isn't real.

Originally Posted by Lem_Gambino

C:\>You can assist the most by opening the door.
BAD COMMAND OR FILE NAME
SC sez: "I have a screwdriver."

What, did you think it would be that easy? >=D Here's a hint: the screwdriver isn't real.

Oooh, a command prompt!

type: "help"
type: "dir *screwdriver* /a /q /s" (translates as "display all files with 'screwdriver' in the name in any directory with any attributes and show the owner of the file as well as the usual date/size/attributes")

C:\>help
What do you need help wtih, George5k?

C:\>dir *screwdriver* /a /q /s
...SEARCHING...
Your search returned 1 hit(s):
C:/Program Files/Games/Uberbob/3D/Models/Characters/Objects/screwdriver.fyi
Attributes: Hidden
Dates Last Modifed: August 28th, 2003, 04:01 PM
Author: Radium

O_o

Originally Posted by Lem_Gambino

C:\>help
What do you need help wtih, George5k?

C:\>dir *screwdriver* /a /q /s
...SEARCHING...
Your search returned 1 hit(s):
C:/Program Files/Games/Uberbob/3D/Models/Characters/Objects/screwdriver.fyi
Attributes: Hidden
Dates Last Modifed: August 28th, 2003, 04:01 PM
Author: Radium

O_o

type:

cd program files\games\uberbob\3d\models\characters\objects
attrib -h screwdriver.fyi
type screwdriver.fyi

It's reasonably obvious what that lot does. '-h' means 'remove hidden attribute'.

Edit: is that definetely 2003 and not 2004?

It's 2003, yes.

Screwdriver.fyi is no longer hidden.
C:\>screwdriver.fyi
I'm sorry, but there is no program installed to run this type of file. Would you like to run an internet search for "*.fyi Player"?

Originally Posted by Lem_Gambino

It's 2003, yes.

Screwdriver.fyi is no longer hidden.
C:\>screwdriver.fyi
I'm sorry, but there is no program installed to run this type of file. Would you like to run an internet search for "*.fyi Player"?

"type" is meant to display the contents of the file, treating it as a text file.

e.g. "type autoexec.bat" would result in something like

@echo off
set path=blah
mscdex.exe
win.com

or whatever

But I'll humour SC, and run that internet search.

Running it as a text file would give you a few pages of irrelevant letters, numbers, and symbols.

You fire up Internet Explorer and arrive at the Google homepage to run your search.
Your search returned 5000+ hits.
Among them is FYI: For Your Interesting Project. By the looks of it, it appears to be 3D graphics tool, like Rhino or Maya. Dare you click upon it?

Originally Posted by Lem_Gambino

Running it as a text file would give you a few pages of irrelevant letters, numbers, and symbols.

You fire up Internet Explorer and arrive at the Google homepage to run your search.
Your search returned 5000+ hits.
Among them is FYI: For Your Interesting Project. By the looks of it, it appears to be 3D graphics tool, like Rhino or Maya. Dare you click upon it?

I do indeed dare. Clicky clicky.

I have an idea as to where this is heading...

You click on the link, and it takes you to FYI's homepage, which has tutorials, featured art, an online store a downloads section, as well as a help and customer support section.

waitwaitwait, didn't L33tz4n hack google a while ago?

Google came back from teh dead D=

It's been over a year. I'm sure Google got back on its feet by now. If not, Fooruman did it. Or the Trout.

EDIT: Or Bill Gates. =P

Originally Posted by Lem_Gambino

You click on the link, and it takes you to FYI's homepage, which has tutorials, featured art, an online store a downloads section, as well as a help and customer support section.

Go to the downloads section.

*click*

You are at the Downloads page. Here, you can choose to download the FYI 2-week demo, and there are a bunch of patches and upgrades available too. There is a link to buy the full version of FYI for $499.99.

Have l337z4n hack the website so that you get the full version for free.

You don't have a credit account. D=
But that doesn't stop Leetzan from syphoning(sp?) money from Unfooruman's bank account (those fortresses don't come cheap, you know).

Congratulations! Thank you for for purchasing FYI, the world's only 3D Graphics Maker Thingy!(TM) An email has been sent to you with the Registration Key to unlock the full version. It should arrive shortly.

Your download request has been processed and should begin shortly. If it doesn't start after 5 seconds, click here.

DOWNLOADING FYISETUP.EXE...
DOWNLOAD COMPLETE.
Would you like to run the file now? Y/N

SC Sez: You've got mail, George5k. =D

Read the mail, then run FYISETUP.EXE

You open Outlook Express.

You have 1 new message(s).
*click*
Here is the Registration Key for FYI. Copy and Paste it into your Registration Form to unlock the full version.
Key: 84ks8-8rwqo-hjnnj-hht89

Have Fun!
-FYI

FYISetup.exe has been sent to your Recycle Bin Desktop. You double click on it:
INSTALLATION COMPLETE.
A shortcut for FYI has appeared on your desktop! What would you like to do now?

Virus scan.

Double-click on the icon on the desktop.

If it whinges about a registration code, then get L33tz4n to uberhack it. If it cannot be uberhacked, then and only then shall it be feed the code!

No viruses detected. =)

*clicky clicky*

FYI (For Your Interesting Project)
A 3D Graphics Editor Thingy
Copyright FYI Productions 2003

NOTICE
This is a 2-week Trial Version. To get the full version, you must register. Click here to go to FYI.com's online store and purchase your Registration code. No additonal download required!

If you already have your code, please enter it here to unlock the Full Version:
Registration Name:
Registration Key:

Leetzan doesn't see why she needs to uberhack to program when she could just Ctrl-V it in.

Reg. Name: George 5000
Reg. Key: 84ks8-8rwqo-hjnnj-hht89

Thanks for buying the full version of FYI; please feel free to visit FYI.com for more tips on making 3d stuff!

You are presented with the workspace It's a blank area, with a toolbar to put various shapes and stuff in, and the mandatory Menu Bar graces the top of the window, with a measuring thingy along the bottom.

Press 'Open'

Enter :
C:/Program Files/Games/Uberbob/3D/Models/Characters/Objects/screwdriver.fyi

Just out of curosity, why "George 5000" / "George5k"?

BobbyB: You'll see... >=)

Cooba: Aye aye, moi capitan!

FYI has loaded the screwdriver model from the Pre-Win Journey: Uberbob. It looks like a normal screwdriver, with a cylinder with curves cut into it, and a long, skinny cylinder for the bolt/shaft thingy. it has a cross-shaped tip on the end to unscrew stuff. Too bad it's not a screwdriver that can open up the backside of a Game Boy Advance (ever see the screws on those things?). D= It looks all shiny and stuff, just like it's brand new. And for good reason: it has the Craftsman logo on it, so it's guaranteed(sp?) for life!

Well, that was a fun wild goose chase!

type: del C:/Program Files/Games/Uberbob/3D/Models/Characters/Objects/screwdriver.fyi

BOGGY WINS THE COOKIE JAR! =D

SC sez: You broke my screwdriver DX

SC.exe has commited a fatal error and will be shut down. If the program persists, contact the program vendor.

Unfoo has logged on at 5:46 PM.
Unfoo: You are quite clever, Fooruman. I didn't expect you to live and get this far.
Unfoo: But you'll NEVER stop my ebil plan! >=D
Unfoo: *insert evil laughter here*
Unfoo has logged off at 5:49 PM.

The computer short circuits, sending sparks everywhere. Fooruman pulls you back just seconds before the console explodes, sending computer guts and plastic everywhere. You all get back up to your feet (Leetzan stands on her tail), and look at the wreckage. The computer is blown to bits, leaving a large scorch mark on the door. Not surprisingly, the door doesn't even have a dent in it.

The CD Player Guy swaps out Star Wars Episode I for Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, playing the sound the game makes when you open a door, solve a puzzle, find a secret, etc. as the security door opens. The tune then changes to the Lost Woods theme as the door opens into a hallway leading into another room. What do you do now?

Enter the Egam Maze.
List Fooruman's spells.

Originally Posted by Lem_Gambino

BOGGY WINS THE COOKIE JAR! =D

Yay!

The tune then changes to the Lost Woods theme as the door opens into a hallway leading into another room. What do you do now?

Follow the sound of the music...

If you can't follow the sound of the music, then I think it goes right, left, right, left, forward, left, right.

Fooruman's spells:
-Invert Lens Color
-Disable Paper Springs
-Irish Ward
-Sulfur Ward
-Melt Rubber
-Break Screwdriver
-Damage Wooden Surface

You enter the hallway. As you walk, the brick color changes from a steel gray to a rusty red, and it seems to get hotter as you walk. Suddenly, you turn around and run into the CD Player Guy, thinking that this is really the Lost Woods from Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time.
"Nice try," he says. You continue down the path, and are about to reach the maze when a ghostly figure appears in front of you! It scares you out of your socks (if you had socks on, that is) and causes Fooruman to faint. Leetzan helps him up as you take a closer look at the figure. It's none other than Pandora, the woman you met back the tavern. She still lookks as ghostly as ever, but she has a smirk on her face. Whether she wants to help you or harm you is unknown, but the CD Player Guy says, "Hey! This isn't in my master's plan to rule the world!"
Pandora turns to him. "You can tell your boss that he's pretty much sporked now. We need some private time to discuss things," she says.
The music is still playing, but this time it's Zelda's theme from Ocarina of Time. "It's been a while," she says. "How are you and Fooruman doing?"

So... we're going to find out that Gannondorf is pledging alligeance to the King of Hyrule, when in fact he plans to take over Hyrule, do the usual rape, pillage & burn, get the Triforce, and generally do what every evil bad guy wants to do (i.e. rule the world). Right?

Are you saying that to Pandora?

Ganondorf* =P

Say: "Pandora, do you know where Uberbob and the rest of them are? Also, do you have an idea on how to get Araches out of the underground tunnel? She would be very helpful about now..."