I ran to the bakery, Shuri at my heels. The baker looked up when I came in, then quickly looked aside. I took out my money and cheerfully stated, "Hi. I want to buy one of your ultimate pies."
The baker, still acting rather distainfully, took the money out and quickly counted. "I'm sorry, sir, but this isn't exactly as much as ten billion and one dollars."

Pageclaim!

"Baker, how many Real Dollars are in a Canadian Dollar?"
Ask Shuriken if she has any money.

"How much can I get for these canadian dollars?"
"Hah! Not much. Ten billion and one canadian dollars are worth one normal dollar."
I stopped for a moment. So close!
I decided that since I WAS so close, whatshername must have the key!
"Hey, you!"
Everyone, including all the classy-looking regulars, turned to me. "Do you have any money?"
One of the less classy looking ones replied, "Much more then you'll ever have."
The other regulars laughed in a polite sort of way and turned back.
Shuriken shook her head.

So there are Canadian dollars, Real dollars, and Normal dollars?

I'm just using words like real and normal to indicate non-canadian dollars, since just saying 'dollars' might confuse people when mentioning both types of dollars in a single sentance.

Just to clarify here, do the pies cost ten billion and one *real* dollars, or Canadian dollars?

If it was canadian dollars, then you could easily afford billions of them.

..uhm. What's the problem?
If Ten Billion Canadian Dollars = 1 Real Dollar,, and we have Ten Billion Real Dollars as well, then why don't we just buy that pie?

One real dollar is worth ten billion and one canadian dollars. We are short.

Wha?

FIRST we have to find 1 Canadian dollar.


THEN, we give the man all the money we've got. That will be exactly enough.

Cost of pie=10 billion and 1 real dollar.
10 billion Canadian dollars = ALMOST 1 real dollar.
10 billion and 1 Canadian dollars = 1 real dollar.
We have: 10 billion real dollars and 10 billion Candian dollars, i.e. 10 billion and ALMOST 1 real dollar.

(So is there some kind of super-hyper-inflation in this world, or are the pies just really, really good? ).

I looked at the pie. It had got to be good looking 'cause it was so hard to see. It also must have been tasty because I wasn't able to taste it, though that was probably just the glass case between the pie and my tongue.

Try to break the glass.

D: Uberbob cannot be so unchivalrous as to try and steal pies.

...ask one of your friends for a Canadian dollar. :P

I was about to punch the glass case open, when I remembered that the baker was carrying a magic golden broadsword in one hand. You don't mess with people who can wield two-handed weapons in one hand.

I decided that the reason Shuri didn't have any money was because I hadn't asked her enough. "Shuri, do you have a canadian dollar I can have?"
"I already said I didn't have any."
"How about now?"
"No."
"Now?"
Shuriken left. Before she could suddenly accumulate money, even!

Catch up to her and warp to Antifoo Isle

Originally Posted by Ae

Catch up to her and warp to Antifoo Isle

Yeah, I don't think there's anything more we can do here. I hate to admit it, but we've been reduced to wandering the earth in search of a Canadian dollar. We've got enough money to buy a small island and yet we can't afford a pie. These are dark times for Uberbob.

I ran out to look for Shuri. I didn't find her so I assumed she had used the teleporter back to the academy, so I followed her back and indeed she had.

Everyone was hard at work researching the spell, except for me and Shuri, who was sharpening her sword thingy.

Announce to that party that a trip to Anitfoo Isle is required. Warp the party to Antifoo Isle.

Antifoo is closed forever, remember?

I demand that Uberbob stop calling Shuri "whatserface" in an attempt to raise moral. Instead call her "Shuri."

Is it? I forgot. In that case, The Isle of Darkness.

"Hey, everyone! Stop whatever you are doing, because we are going on a FIELD TRIP!"
Everyone was sufficiently startled for me to teleport them all to the Isle of Darkness. It was big and snowy and evil and had a big sinister mountain with a huge handleless door and an even huger lack of exits.

Oh, right, we've been here.

Take a snowball and warp the party to Pandora's Isle. Obviously we had the map upside down and touched the wrong spot.

I made a snowball then announced, "I'm bored. Let's go somewhere else."
I touched the map and we appeared in Pandora's Isle. There was a path east, to the collapsed fort, and a path west, to the Trading Post.

go west, get supplies first.

I walked to the trading post, dragging everyone else with me.

Inventory

For Trade

Walk east and east to the collapsed fort.

I dragged everyone east some more, and came to the ruined fort. Same fort, same dead canadian guy. Both were equally dead. I wondered for a moment if brick could be considered dead, then stopped because my brain was out of shape and still trying to catch up with me.

Examine surroundings and eat the remains of the snowball. Send Fawriel back west and west with the pogo stick to trade it for the other pogo stick, then the new pogo stick for the bottle full of canadian bits.

try seeing if the canadian man is really dead by coaxing him with the canadian bits.

Whoah! That was an error! There aren't really two pogo sticks.

...I hate doing the trading post inventory.

I figured as much, just have him trade the pogo stick for the Bottled Canadian Bits then.

"Faw! Go trade this pogo stick for the bottle full of canadian bits!"
I handed him the pogo stick and pushed him in the direction of the trading post. He started running to it, and I continued to stare in that direction. When he came back my eyes were beginning to water. I took the canadian bits from him. The dead canadaman had a head a bit too flat for him to be alive, so I decided to instead see if I could coax him back to life. Still not blinking, I waved the canadian bits over the dead canadian guy. Nothing happened. Dissapointed in my lack of skill in necromancy, I put the bottle away.

Give L33tz4n the bits of canadian and ask her to try and bring the dead canadian guy back to life.

I offered the Canadian bits to L33tz4n. "Here, try to bring that guy back to life. I know you don't have any magic that can do it, but you can summon big shiny things, and that's close enough."
L33tz4n, sadly, did not even take the bits, let alone try to bring the canadian guy back from the dead. "Why d0n't you ask someone who know5 necromancy?"
"The only person I know who knows necromancy is Scholar Sam."
"Wh4t about healing magic?"
"If I were to turn to Faw every time I wanted someone healed, he would actually begin to think he is useful. No, I have far greater fish to fry."
L33tz4n began to reply, but I cut her off with a sharp "shhh". I was getting tired of explaining such obvious things.

start frying a marlin in a pan

I took out a pan and started to fry a marlin in it. Nobody else seemed to be able to see it, though, and just looked at me funny when I asked them if they wanted any fried fish. It's for the better, though. When I tried eating the tender, juicy fish I realized I didn't really want to give any of it up. However, when I commented to that effect everyone looked at me like I had just eaten a brick.

...I wonder how all that mortar got in my mouth...

Ask Faw to ressurect the dead Canadian Guy.

"Hey, Faw!"
"Yes?"
"You are worthless. Now go ressurect this guy for me."
Grumbling, Faw cast a quick spell. A fountain of white light came down from the sky onto him, and a fake-looking pair of angelic wings enveloped him. When they parted, he was standing and fairly uninjured.
"How are you feeling?"
"Eh?"
"What?"
"I can't hear you!"
"Oh." He still had bits of castle in his ears.

Pick the castle pieces out of his ear.