Ask the door to open.

Dev, are you a girl?

Chisel into the door, not around it.

MSB3000: No. And as for your next question, yes.

I was growing weary of using my brain, so I decided that just asking the door to open might suffice. I confidently walked up to the massive metal door looked it straight in the eye and said.... wait...

No... no... NO! What was I doing? What had I become?! This wasn't Araches! Surely, Araches would never ask a door to open! Everything had been going so well, what had happened to me? In the past thirty minutes I had undergone several decades worth of mental decay, without any warning whatsoever. It just didn't make sense... unless...
I looked down upon the gravel below me, and at my feet I saw him. Mark my words, no matter what any allegedly "sane" person will tell you, he was smiling... smiling at my defeat. Smiling at my failure. Smiling at the fact that I had become the thing I hated most... him. Yes, I had become Uberbob.
My blood began to boil, my mind started racing, and what little sanity I had left to me errupted in a horrible display of wanton rage and destruction! I fell to my knees and cursed the very gods that granted me my powers! My eyes began to glow red from the hellfire contained within, and from my vocal chords erupted a stentorian voice that shook the very foundation of the island! My comrades stood back in absolute horror as tempests began to appear out of thin air. Thunder and lightning clashed above, and the darkest, most evil magicks in the cosmos bowed to my whim. "THE POWER!" I cried in a voice that seemed to echo through time and space. "THE ABSOLUTE... POOOOOOWEEERRRRR!"
Any philospher will tell you that Fate has a way of sneaking up on you, but Fate wore fuzzy slippers when it snuck up on me that night. I happened to look down once more, so that I might see the one who had made my life the torrent of pain and anguish it had become, but... he was gone. All that remained were the ropes I had bound him with myself. I looked over to the cliff, and watched in utter horror as Uberbob placed his chisel to the metal door of the island. He struck it once, and suddenly an avalanche of snow and ice fell from the top of the cliff, and sealed us beneath the surface of that dark and fiendish island.... forever...

I listened to the catchy little "you have saved" fanfare, then warped back to where I had previously been standing. "Okay, NOW everyone can start-" I suddenly stopped. A strange feeling of deja vu came over me. For some reason chiselling no longer seemed like a good idea.

Warp the Party to Newsuperubermegatropolis

"Change of plans," I announced, acting on my newfound intuition. "To Newsuperuber... that place that sells pies."
A crinkle of paper, a flash of light, and the four of us were standing on the pier once again. Uberbob was there, too, but that's not important. The pier was strangely high above sea level, but considering that we didn't have a boat it really didn't make much of a difference. The city stood before us, its rich ambience calling out to us and bidding us to spend money there.

Go North

My companions and I dragged Uberbob North. We came to a set of streets leading West, North, and South. To the West were more roads, to the North was that godforsaken bakery, and to the East was the city's hotel. Standing next to the crossroads was the first Canadian guy, who was still getting his brain sucked out by the alien vampire thing on his head. It looked like he had finished his soda.

Decide not to explode. Decide not to dance. Decide not to talk to the Canadian guy. Realize this is what happens to everyone who has ever taken command. Think how odd that is. Think all this at the same time.

After all that, go W and then S to ask the Stamp Guy about The Isle of Darkness. Or Blackraptor's Lair, or whatever it's called. Ask L33tz4n what it was called.

Also ask the Stamp Guy about Noberries.

As leader I had to start taking charge, not just of the party, but of my own life as well. I made the decision, right then and there, NOT to explode. So far so good. Dancing, that was out of the question, too. I turned to the other members of the group and exclaimed, "Dancing is forbidden!" I then looked to the Canadian guy, pointed squarely at his face and said, "I will NOT talk to you! Disregarding what I just said! That, too! And this!" Having extablished a new code of morality, I calmed down a bit and realize that this happened to everyone who became leader. Shuriken had turned out all right, eventually, but I still wondered what she was about to say when she told me, "I'm not ga-." Then I realized how odd it all was. How very, very odd...
I thought all of this at the same time, which upon retrospect was not a good idea. My brain suddenly stopped and I collapsed on the ground, but quickly pulled myself up again. "Okay," I said at last, "let's do this thing."
We walked West to the intersection and then South to the Superubersomething City Park. It was a nice little park, with a well-maintained stretch of turf and some shade trees spread around here and there. There was a sidewalk that encircled the park area with a few benches on the sides. Considering how much these ultimate pie-scarfing residents must pay in taxes, it made sense that the city could afford to keep their park in such great condition.
The stamp man was sitting at his stamp booth, dutifully polishing his stamps. I wasn't sure why he was doing this, but at least it seemed to be giving his life some sort of meaning. "Stamp guy," I called out, "tell me about the Isle of Darkness... or Blackraptor's Lair, or whatever it's called." I looked to L33tz4n. "C'mon, help me out here."
"Erm... 1t was the Isle of Darkness," she replied nervously. I wondered why she had been so quiet lately. Perhaps she was still upset about being left behind on Pandora's Island, which would also explain why she kept silent when the others told me I couldn't murder Uberbob.
"The Isle of Darkness?" the stamp man replied. "I don't remember seeing that on any stamp... sorry."
"Well, what about Noberries?" I asked.
"Oh, now those are fun to have at parties!" he said with a chuckle. "I remember one time I ate one and my head turned into a .wav file... good times. But anyway, they're extinct now, due to over-harvesting. The current theory is that a single person was responsible for destroying the entire population."

No more Noberries. D=

You have only yourselves to blame.

Go north and north.

I bid the stamp man good day and began traveling North. Uberbob stirred a bit along the way, but thankfully another bash to the head put a stop to that. We passed the divide in the road and came to the teleporter to Scholar Sam's Academy.
"We're not really going back to Scholar Sam's place, are we?" Fawriel groaned. "I mean, we've been there. We've been everywhere. Heck, we've been everywhere at least TWICE by now!"
"We have pretty much explored everything," Shuri concurred. "At least everything we could reach, but it's not like any new routes have been opened since the first time we went to the academy."
"We did chisel th3 ice from the door," L33tz4n pointed out.
"But what good did that do?" Shuri scoffed. "We traded our ultimate pie for tools that turned out to be useless! There's no more ice for us to chisel, so what do you propose we do with them now?"
L33tz4n frowned. "I don't kn0w," she said solemnly, "I was just trying to be optimist1c."
For some reason no one seemed to be in high spirits. I wondered if Uberbob's mindless confidence had somehow been giving the rest of us strength all this time, then dismissed the idea on the grounds that it made me feel bad.

Use the teleporter and look around in the university.

"Come on," I said with a sigh. "We're going back to the academy." An objectionable moan ran through the trio. We jumped through the teleporter, one at a time. I went last, tossing in Uberbob before leaping through myself, just in case that old wives tale about fusing with someone if you both teleported at once was true. Well all found ourselves... once AGAIN... in Scholar Sam's academy. It was just as we had left it; Fawriel's doodles were still on the chalkboard and everything.
Leaving Uberbob on the floor, we began exploring every nook and cranny of the classroom. We looked behind every book, on top of every shelf, and under every desk. We examined the corner behind the teleporter, we even went outside and kicked over the frozen potted plants, though that was mostly out of frustration. Even still, we found nothing, not even a pen or piece of paper.
Feeling very depressed, we all went back inside. As soon as I stepped across the threshold I heard L33tz4n gasp, and upon looking up I immediately saw why. Uberbob had come to. Not only that, but he had SOMEHOW gotten out of his ropes. He was poking around a shelf of books, from which he removed one book, seemingly at random, and started flipping through it. He didn't even seem to notice us.
"What's he doing?" Fawriel whispered.
"I think he's just being Uberbob," I replied. "I already looked through that book once. There's nothing in it that could be dangerous."
"Whoa, now THIS looks neat," Uberbob said with a smile, placing his index figer on the page he had been skimming. "Cantois, tripudios, bardusios!"
I heard a sudden clash of lightning, which was odd considering that there were no clouds in the sky. I quickly glanced around to see if anything had changed as a result of his incantation. Everything seemed normal. Thank goodness.

Go east, touch Newubersupermegatropolis on the map. Go north, west, north, and through the teleporter.

You people will be the death of me. To prevent this from becoming the most boring thread on the JCF, which it is, I've decided to make the situation INTERESTING.

"Oh, hi!" Uberbob said cheerfully, tossing the book he was holding to the side. "I know exactly what we should do now!"
I wasn't sure which scared me more, the fact that he didn't seem to be the least bit upset that I had knocked him out twice, or the fact that after everything I had been through following Uberbob now sounded like a good idea. Something even scarier occured to me, however... I was now feeling the sudden urge to... dance.
"Come on, gang!" Uberbob shouted. "Follow me to... ADVENTURE!" He dashed out of the Academy. The rest of us, our spirits sufficiently broken, followed him outside.
"Hey, you hear something?" Shuriken asked. "Sounds like... music." I nodded in agreement; the faint sound of music could be heard outside, but I couldn't tell where it was coming from. It became louder and louder, until I could hear what sounded like a full orchestra playing a very upbeat and catchy melody. The others seemed to hear it to, as they began stepping in sync with the beat. Uberbob was skipping and happily leading us East when suddenly... it happened.

Uberbob: "My name is Uberbob,
Insanity's my job,
Blackraptor wants to rule the world,
but that is not my prob!"

Yes. He was singing. And before I knew it, so was I.

Uberbob: "I love to dance and siiing,
This grey and fuzzy thiiing-"
Araches: "You're wasting all our time, you know!"
Uberbob: "Thanks for noticing!"

We reached the huge slope of ice when Uberbob pulled out the Magic Map. He warped us all to Newsuperubermegatropolis (ha, I remembered the name this time). We proceeded to go North, though the horribly catchy music had followed us there. I tried to fight the urge to start dancing, but I couldn't resist.

Uberbob: "I'm sexy and I'm loveable,
If not a little gullible,
And peave off all my friends until,
They all are inconsolable!"

The music slowed down as we rounded the intersection. The Canadian guy stared blankly as the rest of us simultaneously burst into song.

All: "You've gotta love a guy who's got it aaall figured ooout,
Wasting all the hours ere, chasing trout about!"
L33tz4n: "I just wish he would list3n to what I h4ve to say..."
Araches: "I wish that I could school these gals and teach'em to be-"
Shuriken: "NO!"
Fawriel: "I wander with this simpleton just searching for my waaay..."
Uberbob: "But he who pwns and runs awaaay..."
All: "Lives to pwn anoootheeer daaaaay...!"

We spun around, jumped into the air, did a split, then leapt into the teleporter. When we arrived back at the academy, I fought off the desire to burst into a solo of "I Willl Survive" just long enough to blast the book on the floor with a well-aimed fireball. The music suddenly stopped and the urge to perform improv vaudeville slowly went away. We all breathed a sigh of relief, then proceeded to beat Uberbob into a pulp.

Radium makes this too hard.

Ask L33tz4n what she has to say.

Then ask her if she thinks the Icesmithy knows anything we haven't asked him already.

Then warp the Party to Newubersupermegatropilis, and search the pier. List inventory, party, spells, etc.

"L33tzan!" Uberbob called out as he brought himself to his feet. "What do you have to say?"
She winced and quickly looked away. "Your nose is bl33ding!" she shrieked. I suppose L33tz4n wasn't as tolerant of blood as I was.
"Oh, that's all?" he asked, wiping his nose on his non-metalic arm. "Well, thanks I guess."
"I think her lyrics meant that she wants you to pay more attention to her," Fawriel pointed out.
"Duely noted, green dog thing," Uberbob said as he rubbed feeling back into his rope-burned and frostbitten legs. "Hey L33tz4n, d'ya think the icesmith might know about something he hasn't already told us?"
"Wait, why did you remember her name and not mine?" Fawriel asked, folding his arms across his chest and looking very offended.
"Because L33tz4n's, like, smart and stuff," Uberbob replied with nod. "And I'm supposed to remember her name for some reason."
"Erm, well..." L33tz4n began. "I think he's told us everything he knows, to be h0nest. He told us how to use the ice tools and... that's about 1t. He doesn't come across as being all that knowl3dgable."



EDIT: Gimme a sec on that last one... might take a while.

We warped to Newsuperubermegatropolis and examined the pier. It was pier, made of wood. The water level beneath it was low, probably because a very large amount of the sea froze along with Upper Placespot. There was nothing special about the pier, really. There were barnacles on the bottom and pole thingies for people to tie their boats to when docking. Like I said before, it was a pier.

Inventory

Party
Uberbob: A young male rabbit who lost an arm, a leg and an ear somewhere along the way. In fact, the reason all this random crap is happening is partially related to how he lost his ear. Allegedly.
Spells: I don't know Uberbob's spells. Based on that information it should be obvious that his spells are not needed to accomplish your goal.

Araches: Lesbian sorceress and local fireball-slinger. She's a fox (and a fox) and she's narrating the story. She recently got a new hat.
Spells: She can sling fireballs, that's all I know.

Fawriel: Green weasel freak with potent healing abilities. Blackraptor banished him to Pandora's Island, where he first met Uberbob. He's got a spear and transparent hair.
Spells:
Heal- restores some health. Don't ask me how much.
Raise- brings someone back from the dead.
Townpipe- warps you to towns you've visited. Rendered obsolete by the Magic Map.

L33tz4n: Former Snufuss minion and resident hacker. She's also a novice summoner and hypnotist. She has a complicated relationship with Uberbob.
Spells:
Hypnotise- Controls one enemy.
Summon Enchantresphere- Summon a big magic ball thing.
Summon Mythslayer- Summons a large man with a gun, sword and holy water.
Summon Water Elemental- Summons a cup of water.

Shuriken: A non-ninja ferret girl with skill in swordplay. She has died quite often.
Spells:
Haste- go fast.
Ninja Speed- go faster, I guess.
Fo'shizzle- You don't need this anyway.

I hope you appreciate that. And I hope I got the coding right.

I knew the water level was because of the ice when we first found out about it ;l
"L33tz4n, I like you." (I was planning on doing this already, too)

Jump off the pier into the water.

And by the way, those aren't their spells. I just don't think anyone ever showed Dev the full spell-lists.

I stared out at the sea, watching the sun set. It was beautiful, I'm sure, but I was too sick of life to see the beauty in anything at that point.
"L33tz4n," I heard Uberbob say behind me. Assuming that he was about to ask her something rediculous again, I kept staring out at the ocean. Imagine the shock when I heard him say, "I like you."
I quickly glanced behind me. He was doing it; Uberbob was actually winning her back. He held her close, looked into her eyes, and said it again. "I like you L33tz4n." A chill ran down my spine. She looked away from him shyly, her blue skin starting to turn purple. I assumed this was how a Minion blushed. She gave a faint smile, much more genuine-looking than the one she had given him earlier.
"I..." she started. "I... l1ke you, too, Uberb0b."
I could see that Fawriel was having trouble fighting back the urge to say "awwww," so I pulled him over to my side and forced him to look out at the sunset. I wasn't what you would call a hopeless romantic, but L33tz4n had always had something for that crazy rabbit. I didn't know what it was, exactly, but I did know one thing: if anyone in the whole world deserved to be happy, it was her.
I glanced back at them. Their bodies drew close, their lips drew closer, and then, just as I thought everything was finally going to be okay...

... Uberbob turned around, jumped over Faw and I, and landed with a loud splash in the shallow water below. I was left speechless. Never had I seen such a romantic comedy-esq scene in my entire life. I looked to L33tz4n, praying that she would suddenly say, "You had me at hello," but she just stood there watching him swim away. She was still smiling, but a tear hung on the edge of her eye. I suppose you could say that was their entire relationship in a nutshell.
That night, the sun set on a world that knew itself a little better, a world where hopeless romance didn't seem quite so hopeless, and a world were even a blue snake-girl could find love, if she just looked hard enough...

The end.

Yeah guys, like Risp said, I don't know the spells. Magic won't save you now, anyway.

Summon a water elemental to go get Uberbob before he drowns.

Awww, that's so anti-climactic, though!

"L33tz4n," I said, completely shattering the mood, "summon that white cup thing to bring Uberbob back... I doubt he can swim very well."
L33tz4n summoned a somewhat mighty Water Elemental. She knocked over its cup, causing it to pour into the sea. Suddenly a huge wave appeared and washed Uberbob back onto the pier, although somehow without getting the rest of us wet. The sea became calm again, and the cup vanished without a trace.

..can't we just use the chisels on the whole ocean or Upper Placespot or so?



EDIT: Oh, I forgot.

*ahem*

WOO!!!!
ENCORE! ENCORE! *applauds*

Be more specific, Faw. Either turn that idea into a command or try asking someone in the game your question.

ALSO EDIT: You liked my little romance scene? Heh heh... thanks.

YOU BUREAUCRAT

( Actually, that was directed at the song, but the romance was awesome, too. =3 )

Uberbob: "Couldn't we just somehow use the chisels to.. melt the sea? I mean, they're magic and stuff like that! They're supposed to be able to do technically impossible things!"

"Couldn't we just somehow use the chisels to.. melt the sea?" Uberbob asked to no one in particular. "I mean, they're magic and stuff like that! They're supposed to be able to do technically impossible things!"
"First of all, chisels don't melt things," I replied, "and second, their only real magic seems to be their ability to penetrate the impenetrable ice of Upper Placespot."
"Technically, we're talking about the sea around Upper Placespot," Shuri pointed out.
"Yeah, yeah," I muttered, "but we know Upper Placespot is frozen, too. Uberbob got a glimpse of it just before the edge broke off and he fell down that ice slope. And besides, it would take centuries to shave off that much ice from the sea with just these dinky little chisels. If we found the source of the ice spell we would have a better chance of reversing it than just trying to handle it with physical labor."

Warp the Party to Upper Placespot, take count of everything seen, heard, felt, and smell-ed until they get to the bottom of the slope.

Uberbob spontaneouly warped us all to Upper Placespot. I had never really taken the time to enjoy the sensations involved in sliding down the ice slope, so I open my senses to the experience. I saw ice. Then I saw some more ice. In fact, ice was pretty much all I saw on the way down, probably because the slope was made entirely out of ice. I could hear the sound of a scarcely-dressed sorceress and her weird friends sliding down a slope of ice. I felt very little, as my bum was going numb from both the cold and the friction involved in sliding down a slope of ice. I didn't smell much of anything, as ice is without smell or taste. We got to the bottom and landed pefectly set in the indentations we had left in the snow the last time we slid down here. I stood up and rubbed my poor, sorrowful behind. It deserved better than this.
"Let's do that again!" Uberbob shouted ectastically. He proceeded to warp us back up to the top of the slope, but luckily Shuri grabbed the Magic Map from his paws just before he could tap its surface. My behind was most greatful.

I don't remember Uberbob getting a glimpse of Upper Placespot, or the edge breaking off ;l

Try to climb to the top, using the ice chisels as climbing tools.

Is there rubble to the east? Look at it. Examine it.

Have Uberbob recite the plegde of allegiance. Then he proceeds to say it backwards.

Change of plans. Warp to Antifoo, alone, save, then warp to The Isle of Darkness. Punch and chisel the door.

Originally Posted by Risp_old

The first thing that hit me was a sudden chill. The second thing that hit me was that Upper Placespot seemed to have frozen over, the ground now blanketed in snow and the buildings icy. The third thing that hit me was the thought that since Upper Placespot seems to now suddenly be deserted and iced I could probably find free popsickles lying around! And the fourth thing that hit me was the now-frozen ocean, as the ground beneath me gave way and I plummeted down a steep slope of icy debris to the aformentioned body of water.

"Alright," Uberbob said, cracking the knuckles on his one real hand, "we're climbing this slope. Upper Placespot awaits us. Climb with me to... ADVENTURE!" He took a chisel in each hand and attempted to climb the 70 degree slope by shoving the chisels into the side and pulling himself up. He didn't get very far; his arms weren't strong enough to force the chisels into the ice on their own. The slope looked to be about 350 feet high, and even if he could just stab the chisels into the side, I seriously doubted he could pull himself all the way to the top.
"People don't just start climbing up huge slopes with their bare hands," I scoffed. "Mountain climbers have equipment to help them out. And besides, you're an idiot."
"Hey, I used the chisels!" he said in a frustrated tone.
"Yes," I sighed, "but you would need to secure them. Think ahead, genius."

And I'm completely ignoring what you just said, MSB. Ae is actually trying to make some progress here.

Secure yourself with rope and DUCT TAPE! \o/


( And add this page to the Strudelthing that somehow left out inventory, I think. )