Originally Posted by Xplosive

This made me laugh , but I liked it :P

How come the jackrabbit trio got burned to a crisp , but the henchmen dumped them in a forest?

It would not take jazz that long to choose over his blaster or his kids , jazz is a hero he would pick his kids over anything nearly.

What do eva and jazz get into a fight about?

ok first of all it's a draft not the finshed one yet. ok first of all devan thinks they are dead so he dumps them in the forest. secand it is the only thing he has to remind him of his dad and also he is thinking of a way to bust out of the restands at the same time so he was binding time. three ok i don't have a clue you don't see how they start the fight so i don't need to go over the fight. also then i would have to rewrite the story to revole around the fight at the start so i don't want to do that because i'm up to chapter 3 of the story and it's taking me a long time to think this up so pleese don't ask me to put it what they are fighting about.

Okay Cool, do you mind if I call you Cool?

Here's a few things about English grammar:

1. A sentence always begins with an uppercase letter. You can get this through Shift+(*letter*) or typing with Caps Lock on. This is important because it helps with figuring out where a sentance begins.

2. Paragraphs. This has subsections:

2a. First, a paragraph is usually one idea. When you end your idea, you should end the paragraph. You wouldn't really say: "I ate ice cream with chocolate sprinkles," and "On Saturday I went biking," in the same paragraph, because they are separate ideas.

2b. When you make a new paragraph, I know that I at least find it easier to tell this if you press Enter (or Return on older keyboards) twice, to make a space, as you can see with my tips.

3. When doing quotes of what people say (in a story, not on the forum) it is in the following format:

"quote," said character.

It is important to do this, because it is then possible to see who says what.

4. Commas. The comma is very important, I could go on about how to use commas, but since you haven't used them much yet, I'll say that you can do it this way:

Whenever you have a pause in a sentence, or are listing things, use a comma.

5. Uh... nothing else really. Just wanted to help you make your posts more readable.

NOTE: Might be a good idea to make a sticky on proper writing? TO AN EXTENT, we don't want to be critical. But people should still be able to read posts.

Thank you, ZAPPER, for this enlightening message. Thank you.

Dear people:

After 3 (has it been 3?) Grammar lessons, I really think its time to give up.
I mean, you all apparently understood it well enough to point out every single (-) error the guy made, so we apparently know what he's talking about.

Comon guys don't be like that , At least he's gave proof of doing some work on his story , I think it may of been pretty hard for him to write a lot of that up .

Coolpenutbutter if you do have some trouble spelling , put what you want to write in word and use spellcheck , or you can find a plugin what that enables a spellcheck on your browser.

Looking good so far

Or get IE7. Which is really no use when you think about it.

hay there it nice to here from everyone again in my storys i have used spellcheck but some words i don't get write so that's why i asked you's to help. some people have helped me and for that i thankyou i will not give up on this project. i will write until it finshed but until then next i will post up chapter2 of the story next week aka the Tutorial lvl. it's going to sound a LOT differant because of some factors ok.
1 the player will be followed by the other two charters after you pick a charter.
2 the game play i hope will be differant i want to try and make something fresh for jazz other then just a go from form one side of a level to the other side.
3 you can pick to fight hand to hand or use your blaster because i know that in 3d sometimes it better to use hand to hand combat.
4 you can tell the two that are following you to do what you want. say there's a ledge that only spaz can get up to you tell spaz to go up there and he will double jump up there.

ok that's all a will tell you about what the game play will hopefully be like if they do it correctly. if you want it to be like the older versions of jazz then i will change it back to the older version will just take me a little while longer to post up chapter 2 and will it then kill's all the other ideas in my head so wait a minute. no sorry i won't change my ideas because if it's just the older version gone 3d then it will be dumb because then it's just sonic the hedgehog with a gun that's no fun . if you don't like what i'm doing to jazz then well i'm sorry but if i make it look like sonic the hedgehog with a gun epic will never make it because they will think it's just someone playing a trick on them. i hope you understand just wait until the next chapter.

3 you can pick to fight hand to hand or use your blaster because i know that in 3d sometimes it better to use hand to hand combat.

Rather than hand-to-hand combat, why don't you make it gun-to-hand? What I mean is that I think it would be more fun to swing your gun at people than to punch them.

if you don't like what i'm doing to jazz then well i'm sorry but if i make it look like sonic the hedgehog with a gun epic will never make it because they will think it's just someone playing a trick on them. i hope you understand just wait until the next chapter.

I really hate to burst your bubble, but Epic's really not going to make this game. It's not the ability to write a story that they lack. There are plenty of people they can hire to write out a plot. And they can plan the game mechanics themselves. What they need is the motivation to make the game, and they need to know that it will sell well. Look at the size of the Jazz Jackrabbit fanbase, then compare it to the fanbase of Unreal. Unreal is where their real profit is; they're not going to change their ways just because you've written a plot to JJ3, no matter how good it is.

Originally Posted by Coolpeanutbutter

3 you can pick to fight hand to hand or use your blaster because i know that in 3d sometimes it better to use hand to hand combat.

Wait, what? Hand to hand is generally more annoying in 3D than ranged combat, simply because you have no actual depth vision.

ok first of all that gun to hand does sound good ok yes i will do that. and i find it more easy to use hand to hand combat in 3d and range is good to but hand to hand when you get up close to someone is better then shoting. and final if i get a lot of people to help me back up on this story epic might make it. i just need people to help back it up.

my ideas is first person galge u play as jazz, then lori n eva are the main heroines n spaz can be ur nemesis

Originally Posted by Neobeo

my ideas is first person galge u play as jazz, then lori n eva are the main heroines n spaz can be ur nemesis

ah why would spaz be the nemesis

A few possible reasons:

1.He's had enough of Jazz hogging the spot-light,
2.Spaz's psychological state has deteriorated further, causing him to look at Jazz in a different way.
3. Mind control.

or drugs

Hahaha that'd be great if while you're fighting Spaz, Jazz's kids would be around shouting stuff like "Stop it! Can't you both see you're tearing us all apart?!"

ah did you guys read chapter 1 ALL three of them are the good guys besides i like spaz to much to have to fight him as a boss. and also my friend would hate me for the rest of his life if i didn't make spaz one of the main characters in the story so that he can be spaz.
i might make him go crazy in one bit so that you fight him.
then you get him back.
then you fight lori.
then you get her back.
then if you pick jazz you fight them both because he is going crazy.
so if you win nothing big happens you just snap out of it same as if you lose.

Ah, one of those battles. I remember a few in Tales of Symphonia...

Maybe Lori should be the one that loses it and turns evil. Her backstory got all messed up between 1.23 and TSF, and she wasn't much of a playable character anyway. Lori seeks revenge for being mistreated over the years.

ah ok no one is turning evil i said that in my last post ok. i might make it for like 1 fight they go crazy but not for longer then 1 fight so stop posting you want me to make someone evil that is a dumb idea for 2 reasons. 1 people will hate me for making a charater they like evil 2 i like the charaters to much to make them evil. so stop asking me about it.

i like devan do not make him evil please.

JJ3 should be a prequel. And it should be about the adventures Spaz and Lori had before joining up with Jazz. And they should team up with Devan because Devan isn't evil yet. And this is before Spaz becomes insane, so Spaz should be normal. And then the trio fight whatever tyranny is present at the time and they save the day. And at the end of the game, Lori gets stranded on a strange planet in the middle of nowhere, Spaz suddenly loses his mind since he loses his sister presumably forever, and Devan should turn to the dark side through some self-fulfilling prophecy. And then Jazz makes a cameo or something. This game would sell millions.

..that's the best alternative I could think of. Or something with Eva as a playable character, but wahtever.

I second BlurredD's idea too, except it lacks that element of evilness. Instead of Jazz appearing as a cameo, how about letting him be the evil guy? The ending will be that Spaz and Devan defeat Jazz, and Jazz becomes good. In fact, Jazz becomes so good that Devan grows jealous and turns evil. Probably merge this with the self-fulfilling prophecy somehow.

hmmmmm. a good idea but i don't think it will work like that. i can make it so that at one point in the game when they start getting there memorys back that there is like a little bit that would last prople about say 1hour of play where that can happen but i don't want to revole the hole story about that because the name of the game is jazz3d. like i said a great idea i will really think hard on adding it into the story for a flash back bit but no promises.

oh and the one where someone does go crazy and turn evil well i'm REALLY REALLY REALLY thinking hard on the but i don't really want to do that because i like to use lori as a character and well for spaz.
My friend would hate me for the rest of my life but it is a really good plot twist. if you think i should add it then ok spaz will go evil but only if i get a lot of people saying to me to do that.

Again are we making the game or talking about it?

sigh. no i'm not making the game myself i'm writeing a game script to send to epic games to see if they will make it that why i'm asking every to help me come up ideas to but into it. ok i'm not making the game just writing a game script.

ok. But your going to need more. Were going to have to come up with ideas for weapons, bosses, areas, enemies and other pick ups until those jack A@$#$ make Jazz 3.

You lost me at hello

That a good idea i have idea of something about the power ups and all that i have a very riskey idea in my head about how you get new abilities and all that for the chariter you pick but ah what the hell ok my idea is that they make it that to get new skill and to incress old ones and all that there is a lvl system. so lets say that at lvl 3 they get there basic skill aka jazz and lori get helicopter ears and spaz get double jump. like i said it's a silly idea but it might work.

...that could work. Except different characters could start off at different levels.
I had an idea: what if you could pick a character for a level? As in the one you control? It'd make the game a lot more interesting, so you could have places only certain characters can reach.

hmmm. well i guess that would work. yeah that would work because someone gave me a good idea about jazz being evil for a bit so yeah that be the only way around it or there is like a switch box or something. i know there's a star wars game i like where you have three guys out at once and you click on one of there portrait and you become that player. the other two would still get xp and all that but you are just a differant player that's all. thanks nova for the idea.

I got an idea. How about late in the game you get a weapon that can pick up small enemys(like turtles) and can fire them. If you pick up enough enemys you can use the gun like a meciene gun. (rapid fire)

You played Oddworld: Stranger's Wrath?

I want to see more of the story

ok i will post up more on the story by tomorrow. and that gun to pick up some enemys sounds like the gun from strangers wraith and also the upgraded gravity gun from half life2.

Much more like the suck cannon from R&C :P

Originally Posted by Coolpeanutbutter

and also the upgraded gravity gun from half life2.

The upgraded Gravity Gun instantly killed anything it touched, though. It didn't throw enemies, it threw bodies.

Originally Posted by Birdie

Much more like the suck cannon from R&C :P

I was about to say that, but not having played Stranger's Wrath I didn't want to look like an idiot due to a misconception

That idea just hit me. I haven't played odddworld. But I have played hlaf life. In fact I own it. The god father of all games!!!

Originally Posted by SonicNathan 1

The god father of all games!!!

I think that was pong, and anyways UT>Halflife

I think if games had a godfather, it would have been chosen way before Half Life came out.