YEAH!

pageclaim yet again

No, we are NOT reverting back to ToU Part I logic! You HAVE to do something. There is only one way out of this, and it's not that hard. And no, it is NOT surrender.

Wait, how would the NPCs know about the Game Over screen? That broke the fourth wall! GLITCH.

Finally, someone here who can outwit me >O
And I still thought the pogo stick was hanging a few feet across the ledge of the cliff.

@UNKNOWNFILE: You died, remember? The game reloaded to before you left the pogostick hanging.

I took out the one-way pogo stick and tried to bounce my way to see over the crowd. A Canadian with a flamethrower melted the pogo stick right out from under me.
"NOOOO!!!" Fooruman cried. "My precious pogo stick! I... I never even got to say... goodbye." A tear ran down the old wizard's face. Suddenly, I didn't see a senile old fool anymore, and I didn't see... erm, yeah. You get the idea.

NO EXITS, FOO.

Tell Fooruman to megawarp us to the coordinates of the first place he can remember the coordinates for.

Would that be back to the lair of Unfooruman and Spotty?

Originally Posted by Dev

@UNKNOWNFILE: You died, remember? The game reloaded to before you left the pogostick hanging.

I took out the one-way pogo stick and tried to bounce my way to see over the crowd. A Canadian with a flamethrower melted the pogo stick right out from under me.
"NOOOO!!!" Fooruman cried. "My precious pogo stick! I... I never even got to say... goodbye." A tear ran down the old wizard's face. Suddenly, I didn't see a senile old fool anymore, and I didn't see... erm, yeah. You get the idea.

NO EXITS, FOO.

No one never said anything about pogosticking.

It's a special feature in these situations. See, you do the first thing you think of. In real life you can't edit commands or delete posts in life-or-death situations.

view inventory

Originally Posted by UNKNOWNFILE

Would that be back to the lair of Unfooruman and Spotty?

No, no, no. The planet moved since then. Now that area is simply an empty void of space.

Originally Posted by Blackraptor

view inventory

Inventory

Oh.

Use the Thirdeighteennoteevenbettercitrusfruitymanypagedla zerlightysuperflyingfullyclotheductscraptlegalfour seatsestrudelire.

Odin: Someone did, then edited their post after I posted. Too late, sorry.

"Archmage!" I cried. "We will avenge your precious pogo stick, but for now you must be strong! Do you remember the universal X, Y, and Z coordinates of anywhere useful?" I considered what I had just said, then added, "Or anywhere at all, for that matter?"
Fooruman's grief subsided as he contemplated this. "All I can remember is something tasting of STONE," he said. "Why do you ask, my good woman?"
I grabbed my companions and shoved them all into the FooCanoe. Jumping in myself, I cried out. "Megawarp out of... EVERYWHERE!"
The old wizard nodded, raised his oar, gave his typical warcry, then proceeded to type seemingly random coordinates into whatever it was he entered Megawarp coordinates into.
There was a brilliant flash of light, followed by a long tunnel filled with swirling blue energy and a floating, 3-dimensional "E=MC²." Fooruman rowed the canoe through the tunnel much like he was fighting against rapids in a stream. Up ahead I saw the end of the tunnel, and on the other side...

-----------------------------------------------------------

My first thought was, not surprisingly, "Ow." I rubbed my head before I even thought to rub my eyes, but quickly pulled my hand away when I felt how lumpy and tender the flesh had become. "Stupid Canadian," I thought to myself. "And I didn't even know they played baseball."
I slowly opened my eyes and let them adjust to the light. It wasn't dark anymore, and thus safe to assume we were no longer on the Isle of Darkness. The sun was rising off in the distance; that was the first thing I saw as my vision became less blurry. As I pushed a few strands of blue hair from my eyes, I saw the other members of our group lying in the snow nearby. L33tz4n, the cute one, looked absolutely terror-stricken. Shuriken, the blademaiden/ninja-in-denial, was surveying the area to the best of her ability. We were in a clearing in the middle of a spruce forest, surrounded on almost all sides by a thick wall of trees. As I had mentioned ealier, there was also snow, and lots of it. I had recently lost my taste for snow, after spending so much time walking through it with no shoes, constantly freezing my poor digitigrade feet.
The old man was sitting in his canoe, fast asleep by the looks of it, and just to the side I saw... him. Our "leader" as he called himself. That stupid grey rabbit who was always leading us into certain doom, for seemingly no reason. He was being yelled at by Araches, our resident fireball slinger, whose only non-magical talent seemed to be a persisitent pessimism which she never called off.
And who am I, you ask? My name is Fawriel, but don't even bother telling them that. As far as they were concerned, my name might as well have been Hootie McBoobity. I wasn't a person to them; I was a thing. I did all of their chores, and healed all of their wounds, yet it was I who was the butt of every joke, the pawn of every pwnage, and the thankless slave who never got the admiration and respect he deserved. That we me in a nutshell.
I stood up, though still a bit woozy. I noticed my trusty spear sticking out of the snow. I had no idea how any of us got here, but it looked like it had been a crash landing. I checked myself for my other items: the first aid kit Uberbob had entrusted to me was still there. I also had the compass rose he had given me on one particularly awkward occassion. There was one more thing I owned, but which I kept hidden: a sketchbook and pen I had found during our adventure. Why did I keep it hidden? Because I knew that the moment he knew I had it, he would take it away and add it to his precious pile of junk. This sketchbook was the only means I had to practice my artistic talents while we were traveling, and was more precious to me than anything else.
Araches seemed to have finished up with Uberbob. She left him sitting there, staring blankly as if he had not absorbed a word of what she had said to him. She wanted to find Blackraptor's lair so badly, and we had been so close...
...oh yeah, Blackraptor. He was the reason all of this was happening. He was an alleged dreadlord, with great power and a penchant for employing evil Canadians. He had banished me to the remote isle known as Pandora's Island, where I first met our "fearless leader" and that short-fused lesbian. I guess you could say I had a personal vendetta against this Blackraptor fellow; not because he banished me, but because it was he who ultimately caused me to meet that accursed rabbit in the first place.
"Alright," the one-eared wonder said as he looked over his scattered comrades. "It's time we got moving. We're wasting precious seconds."
"We don't even know where we are!" L33tz4n exclaimed.
"Well we aren't gonna find out by sitting here!" he retorted. "There's a break in the trees to the North. I say we check it out."
We were always checking things out. I fell back into the snow, totally exasperated, and yet I knew that I would inevitably be following his orders once again.

Inventory

I take it you have something against lesbians, Radium.

Originally Posted by UNKNOWNFILE

I take it you have something against lesbians, Radium.

What do you mean? Like all my best friends are lesbians. Even the male ones.

But seriously, No, I don't. And blame Araches existance on Faw because he gave me the idea back on Page 1 of Thread 1.

Quote?

Originally Posted by Fawriel

I grab the instruction booklet "Swimming for dummies".I swim, notice my foot has gotten stuck inside an algae. I swim on, noticing my feet have gotten stuck inside a barrel of wine. I swim on, noticing my head has gotten stuck inside a boat on which two gay magicians are performing magic tricks.

EDIT!

From here- http://www.jazz2online.com/jcf/showp...9&postcount=10
Note this was the early days of ToU, where the players could easily create new content just by pretending it was there.

We really need an official ToU website, radium >O

Commands, people. Copper will come in here and start beating you with a 7-iron.

FEH!

Go north.

DAGNABBIT YOU PEOPLE POST TOO FAST.

North, I say.

Wait a moment...
AGH RADIUM GOT POST 1900

Well hopefully I can get post 2000.
(yeah right)

Well Dev, gonna post or WHAT

@UNKNOWNFILE: No. You intimidated me with your threat-like question.

Seriously, no more posts for today. I'm tired, and I've been spending way too much time working on this and the ToU webcomic's conceptual sketches. My life cannot consist entirely of Uberbob... I have homework to do, too, you know. See you guys tomorrow.

Stop treating poor Dev like a robot :(, he's posting replies very rapidly, especially when you look at certain times when people waited for days for a reply in this.

Originally Posted by Blackraptor

especially when you look at certain times when people waited for days for a reply in this.

Yeah. Like.. when RISP WAS DMING. Or LEM. not me

Sorry, Dev.

cast heal on Fooruman

Kick Unknownfile.
Wonder whether there are any Alien Demon Vampires around...
Try to be optimistic and happy for the fact that you are at least alive and.. able to think and stuff. And just think about all the fresh air you get while you're not in a dungeon or somewhere!

...what has happened was quite unexpected.

Yes..and we lost the pogo stick unnecessarily, you foos.
Boy..I missed a lot.

Originally Posted by Cooba

...what has happened was quite unexpected.

What? Changing the POV again?

All the arrest stuff, rather.

I decided to be optimistic. After all, at least I was alive, and outside in the fresh air as opposed to being inside a musty old dungeon. Feeling a bit more contented, I got up and walked over to Fooruman. He was still fast asleep in his canoe, and still wearing his purple hat and dress. I extended my arms and cast Heal on him. Don't ask me why I did this, it just seemed like the right thing to do.
"We're heading North!" Uberbob declared. "Follow me to... ADVENTURE!"
I rolled me eyes and nudged Fooruman with the butt of my spear. "Rise and shine, archmage."
He stretched his arms overhead and gave a great yawn. "Mommy?" he said. "I'd like a plate of French toast for breakfast, mommy. The French, despite questionably foreign policy, are excellent toastsmiths."
I slowly backed away, then began following the others through the break in the trees. Fooruman seemed to come around, finally, and rowed his canoe after us.
We walked for hours through the woods, until we came to a gateway in a gigantic wall to the North. The wall stretched on for miles in either direction, cutting through the forest like a knife through toast. And speaking of toast, I could really have used a jeffle right about then. Beside the gateway was a large sign. The letters on it could hardly be made out from all of the weather damage, but it seemed to say "you are now leaving Northern Canada."
"It looks electronic," L33tz4n said, pointing to the gate. Sure enough, the mechanism that seemed to open the gate was connected to a crudely-wired power source. It ran on battery power, but closer inspection revealed that there was no battery set inside. On top of the machine was a long rod, which seemed to be connected to the same electrical transformer as the battery would have been. Following the large bundle of electrical wires, I found that the power conducter that hooked the power source to the gate was gone. There was one connector for the power source, and another for the door, but a large gap between them approximately five feet long. It looked very unsafe, too, like the person who built it most likely received several electrocutions in the process.
"Does anyone have a battery?" Uberbob asked. We all shook our heads. "Okay, what about a power conductor approximately five feet long?"
"You know we don't," Shuriken said angrily.
The rabbit peered back in the direction we had just come from. "None of you happened to notice a hardware store on the way up here, did you?"
I didn't know if he was joking or not. I forced a little laugh just in case. The others all stared at me.

Wait, we could use the shotgun as part of the circuit.

The shotgun isn't that long. It's three feet at the most.

EDIT: I won't be threatening Alien Demon Vampire attacks anymore. You're too far from a save point to die now, so feel free to do something totally idiotic.

Do the Moskau dance.

Check the length of everything in our inventory.

Soak Uberbob's string in melted snow and use THAT.

I briefly took to doing the Moskau dance. Uberbob noticed me and smiled broadly. "You see?!" he called out. "Fawriel gets it!" I didn't know what I had supposedly gotten, but Uberbob joined me in dancing. I immediately stopped. The flower, the dancing, and the tiger named Chad... the evidence was really piling up.
He continued to dance without me. I took this opportunity to examine the length of everything in my inventory. My spear was about five feet long, the first-aid kit was about one foot long, seven inches wide and five inches high, my sketchbook was eleven inches long, the pen was five inches long, and the compass rose was six inches long. For a European, I was pretty good with inches and feet.
I then tapped Uberbob on the shoulder and asked, "Can I borrow your string?"
"Why?" he inquired, still dancing like a foo.
"I wanted to soak it in melted snow and use it."
"Use it for what?"
"I'm not entirely sure," I replied nervously.
He stopped dancing and raised an eyebrow. "You're one sick kid," he told me. "You can't have the string. And no way can you have Chad." He took out the little plush tiger and hugged it. It was weird.