go to house front entrance, S S S W S W S E S teleport E E take rocket launcher W W telport N W N E N E N N N and back to the room with the surge protector in the house.
Then get out through the door downstairs and continue north.

Risp came up with an excellent character analysis of Conquista. He says that she considers "ultimate evil" to be a standard of how evil should be, and all evils that she does not consider "ultimate" must be destroyed. Basically, she fights all evils that aren't as evil as she is, and who could possibly be as evil as Conquista?

And there are no windows. In the entire mansion. There appear to be some from the front of the building, but they're fake windows meant to only imply that it's not a factory and somebody lives there. I guess they're lying now.

And you have to go down the elevator, Emperor.

Emperor, we have used the Rocket launcher already. We can not go back to it and waste time.
FORGET ABOUT THE ROCKET LAUNCHER, EVEN IF WE DID GET IT, DEV WOULD PROBABLY MAKE US LOSE THE ONLY SHOT IT HAD BEFORE WE RE-LEFT POLAR DERVISH
Itallics and caps so you can get it in your skull.

@n00b: Don't use bold font, it makes me seem less powerful and awesome. Try italics, or really big words.

I hope I didn't offend you, n00b, I was only joking. Rad's the only one who gets all discombobulated if you use bold font in Uberbob.

Sooo... commands, anyone?
And by that I mean commands that don't involve the rocket launcher.

Check to see if the following names are in the lists:

Dev, n00b, UNKNOWNFILE, The Emperor, Radium, Fawriel

Originally Posted by Dev

I hope I didn't offend you, n00b, I was only joking. Rad's the only one who gets all discombobulated if you use bold font in Uberbob.

Nah I wasn't offended, I just didn't want the potential of having an angry Rad at my heels.

I checked the list for a few random names that popped into my head suddenly.

Dev- nice- took requests from desperate furverts despite his better judgement just to make people happy.
n00b- nice- never posted anything stupid or annoying.
UNKNOWNFILE- naughty- forked too many people this year.
The Emperor- ???- not verbally coherant enough to judge.
Radium- naughty- never salvaged Pinglag or Sterling Skies.
Fawriel- nice- never killed Uberbob, despite often having the motive and opportunity.

Kids, be nice, don't be bold, and stay on topic.
And for future reference, the 40 pages thing was sarcasm, meant to encourage people to join in early as opposed to later. So many people have misinterpreted that D=.


Anyway, take apart some of the machines. Parts are useful.

Look up Santa.
Parts are useful, gears are especially good for trading.

Check all of the broken machines for any loose parts for the taking, especially three-inches in diameter gears.

Originally Posted by Dev

UNKNOWNFILE- naughty- forked too many people this year.

Be careful... >O

@UNKNOWNFILE: Situational humor is ALWAYS funny.

I looked for Santa's name on the list, but the closest name I found was Satan. He was on the naughty list, but not the VERY naughty list. That said, I wondered just how evil Blackraptor had to be to get his own list.
I took apart some of the machines and pocketed a few random parts. I assumed they would somehow prove useful for trades and things of that nature.

Inventory

Read the Canadian Runes.

Have a look on the list for Derby, FQuist, Jazz, Spaz and BoggyB.

Head back to the picture control panel, and see if there's anything else we can do with it.
Better idea: get L33tz4n to summon Sphery (sp?) and have it zap the computer to life.

And what in God's name is a furvert?

Originally Posted by UNKNOWNFILE

And what in God's name is a furvert?

You don't want to know and drop the subject there. Back on topic.

Thank you God Radium.

@UNKNOWNFILE: The book of Canadian runes only has notes on translations of the ancient Canadian sanscrit. There's no point in reading it unless you need to translate something. And a furvert is someone who likes furries... I mean likes them, if you know what I mean.

I asked L33tz4n to summon the Enchantresphere to shock the computer back to life. She did so. After the bolt of magic lightning struck the computer, the unmistakable cracking sound of a hard drive being fried echoed throughout the factory.

Oh, (-).

Send Sphery the Enchantresphere back to wherever it is they come from.

Summons are assumed to go away right after they do whatever you tell them to do.

Did you all forget that there's a world outside this factory? In case I forgot to mention it, the elevator you rode to get here is still there.

whatever. Go on the elevator and return to the kitchen. Go north twice.

Compass directions? D= I'll ignore it just this once, only because I'm dying to get out of here.

We all got back in the elevator and rode it to the ground floor. We then went back into the kitchen and out the back door of the mansion.
We journeyed through the snow on foot for hours and hours. We didn't seem to be getting anywhere at all; everything looked the same: snow, snow, and more snow.
"I'm so freaking tired," Araches groaned. "How much farther is this North Pole, anyway?!"
Uberbob's eyes suddenly lit up as he pointed to something off in the distance. "BEHOLD!" he exclaimed as he pointed to a giant, candy-striped pole sticking out of the ground up ahead. "The North Pole! We finally made it!"
Uberbob took off running towards the pole, with the rest of us trying to keep up. As we approached, I noticed something else on the horizon: a lone figure standing beside the pole. He was of average height and build and had short blond hair, and he wore a pair of brown khaki pants, a white shirt and a light pink pullover vest. As we came closer it appeared he was smiling widely at us.
We all stopped running and stared at him for a while. We had never seen him before in our lives, but something about him still seemed inexplicably familiar. I wasn't sure if we should keep going or not.



And check out this awesome ToU minicomic I drew out of sheer boredom:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v2.../tou_comic.jpg

N, I guess

I like the comic. Good stuff.

Go north. I'm pretty sure that is Dennis, but it's been a while since I played Dungeonman. Perhaps someone else can back me up on this or disprove my theory.

@acid: Thanks!

We slowly trudged on Northward. As we approched, the strange man continued to stare and smile. Normally it would have been creepy, but there was some odd sincerity to him, like he was really happy to see us.
We finally got within a few feet of him and stopped. There was a long silence as we stared at one another. He continued to smile and stare, then suddenly he spoke in a very jovial and friendly voice. "Hi!" he said. "I'm DENNIS!"
At these words, the Compass Rose I had been carrying in my pocket suddenly exploded.

D, I guess.

"We want to go Dennis," I explained to him. He crossed his arms and nodded.
"Hey, that's GREAT!" he said in an almost overly-affectionate tone. "I can take you anywhere in the world! That's what I'm here for!" He paused, continued to smile, then added, "And I'm also here to be your... FRIEND!" As he enunciated the word "friend" he drew a heart in the air with his finger. It was a little weird. "So, FRIEND, where do you want to go?" He threw open his arms as if he was expecting a hug, though I really hoped he wasn't.

"Are you in any way related to Chick-Fil-A?"

Pageclaim for Dennis!

"Are you in any way related to Chick-Fil-A?" I asked.
"Hey, I LIKE Chick-Fil-A!" he said very enthusiastically. "Nothing beats chicken from a pocket dimension! Hey, that sorta rhymes!" He grinned, showing us his perfectly white teeth, then suddenly asked, "Do you want to go to Chick-Fil-A? It's a WONDERFUL place to be! But then again, every place is a wonderful place when you're with... FRIENDS!" He once again drew a heart in the air. I was starting to freak out a little.

Ask Dennis if he can take us to the enterance of Blackraptor's lair.

"Dennis, can you take us to the entrance to Blackraptor's Lair?" I inquired.
"Hey, no sweat there, FRIEND!" said Dennis with a big smile. "I can take you there, but first... you have to give me... a..." he paused for a very long time. We all leaned forward, awaiting his next words, we he suddenly exclaimed very, very loudly, "...a REASON TO SMILE!" He pointed to Uberbob and said, "What's your reason to SMILE?"
Uberbob thought for a moment. "Trout," he said at last. "I really like trout."
Dennis then pointed to L33tz4n. "3rm..." she muttered nervously. "I really like... computers."
"Fighting," said Shuriken.
"Women," said Araches.
"STONE!" Fooruman exclaimed, raising his oar overhead.
"And what about you, FRIEND?" asked Dennis as he turned his head towards me. "What makes you SMILE?"
"Well... I really like art," I replied. "And video games... and anime... and anime about video games, or video games about anime, or just any of those things with girls in them. Preferably cute, sleepy-looking girls. And-"
"Yeah, that sounds GREAT!" Dennis interrupted. "All of you gave me GREAT reasons to SMILE!" He reached into his pocket and dug down deep. "All your happy thoughts have given me the magic to make things happen! Your destination... AWAITS!" He suddenly pulled his hand out of his pocket and threw out a huge, sparkling rainbow. It flew over the horizon and vanished over the sea. The end of the rainbow stood directly in front of us.
"Have fun, kids!" said Dennis, waving goodbye. "Remember: every place is a great place when you have... FRIENDS!"
We all glanced at each other. "I guess this is it," Shuriken said. "The final battle is at hand..."
"We're finally going to face the Dreadlord..." L33tz4n added.
"IF there even is a Dreadlord," said Araches. "I'm still not convinced."
"By the might of FOO!" Fooruman exclaimed. "At long last, the moment my TWO THOUSEND YEARS have all been leading up to!"
Uberbob looked to me and smiled. "Ready... friend?"
"Yeah... sure, Uberbob," I replied. "Let's go."
The six of us all leapt into the rainbow at once, and the magic of Dennis transported us through the skies and across the sea. When I jumped into that rainbow, I didn't know what to expect on the other side, but oddly enough I wasn't so worried. Like Dennis had said, any place can be a wonderful place, as long as you're with friends.

And on that unbelievably corny note, my DMship comes to an end. Radmiums will be back to terrorize you tomorrow, same Uber-time, same Uber-thread! See ya, kiddos!

Friends are so wonderful!

*hugs Dev with Dennis*

EDIT: i didn't read the whole post and realized dennis wasn't here anymore. whatever.

Pick up the scroll. I know there is a scroll. No foolin' man.

hopefully there's a save point so we can save when we get there

Originally Posted by Dev

Risp came up with an excellent character analysis of Conquista. He says that she considers "ultimate evil" to be a standard of how evil should be, and all evils that she does not consider "ultimate" must be destroyed.

By this logic, Araches would have been dead now.

look for a save-point after arriving IMMEDIATELY (especially if a 130 feet mutant alligator charges at you)

Go to the nearest inn.

Originally Posted by Cooba

By this logic, Araches would have been dead now.

Araches isn't evil, she's just unpleasant, though she can be nice to someone like Shuriken from time to time.