Yes. Another WT story that will probably die before it hits ten replies. Go myself.

Add stuff at will.



The War Tavern, which had gone without a single visitor for a little more than a week, looked almost in a subliminal state of dilapidation from the outside, even though its outward appearance had changed very little, if at all. There was neither light nor sound from within, as the barkeeper, Ducky, had elected to take a quick nap that had somehow escalated into a short hibernation of sorts. Against the night sky, it almost looked like a stereotypical house, one that a five-year-old would draw.
There were voices outside the Tavern, though, despite that it was closed. The lock clicked quietly, and the door, though not without a squeak of protest on the part of the hinges, swung open slowly, revealing two figures outside.
"Are you sure we're allowed to be doing this, Jack?" one of them said.
"Relax, Jay. CT gave me a key, remember? If she didn't trust me not to be in the Tavern, she wouldn't have given it to me. Logic," Jack replied, "doesn't seem to befit you."
"Yes, well, neither does breaking and entering," Jay, more formally known as Jaycen Firefox, shot back.
"It's not breaking and entering if I have a key, you knob," Jack retorted. "Like I said, relax. Grab a beer or something."
Firefox chuckled. "Yeah. I'll be the drinker, and you'll be the drunk. Just like at CCU."
Jack laughed, as he flicked the lights on. "Just like old times, huh?"
"Yeah, just like old times," Firefox replied, grinning, as he stepped into the once-empty Tavern. "So I'll get myself an ale, and, what, an apple juice for you?"
"Oh, shut up, you. Just because I'm not a drinker doesn't mean I'm a baby. Get me a weak ale. And be quiet about it, you clumsy... you... stupid."
Firefox snickered, and put on a mock expression of indignance. "Oh no. I am a stupid. Whatever shall I do?"
With that, he took a short running start at the bar, and vaulted skilfully over it. However, upon landing on the floor on the other side, he slipped, and let out a strangled "yawoop!" as his feet flew out from under him. There was a loud thud, though thankfully no sounds of glass being shattered or any other such catastrophe, as his body hit the floor with some force.
It took all of Jack's self-restraint to keep himself from bursting out laughing. "Heehee... I said be quiet, you flippin' idiot!"
"Shut up! The floor's not supposed to be waxed back here!"
Jack covered his face in his hand, and shook his head, smiling in amused pity at his less-than-coordinated friend.

A few minutes later, thankfully with neither any more unexpected effects of the laws of gravity, nor with any similarly unexpected appearances of the irate barkeeper, Jack and Firefox were calmly drinking their respective beverages, with the latter gently massaging a small lump that had inexplicably appeared on the back of his head.
"So how's it going between you and Europa?" Jack asked, somewhat out of nowhere.
"Europa? Fine. It's a little weird, my being taken with a mercenary, but..."
Firefox paused, and glanced at Jack, with an impudent smirk on his face. "Right. Look who I'm talking to."
Jack rolled his eyes. "Hey, CT might be a mercenary, but she's got a good heart. Me and her are tighter than that novice Singe McFadden during a drill."
"Yeah, Sarge McFadden can be a tightwad sometimes..." Firefox agreed, half to nobody in particular. "Anyway, why do you ask? About Europa, I mean?"
"Oh, no reason. Just that Funk said to me that if she tells him about anything going wrong between you and her, he's coming after you with a vengeance."
Firefox almost choked halfway through a drought of his ale. "What? Are you serious? Funk told you that?"
Jack snickered. "Of course I'm not serious, you dork. He said it's good to have her worrying about someone other than him for a change."
Firefox raised an eyebrow, skeptically. "Are you serious this time?"
Jack smirked. "Wouldn't you like to know. Maybe I was serious about the first one."
Firefox was about to issue a reply when a streak of light passed by the window outside. It was not instantaneous, like lightning, but rather more like a comet; however, like lightning, it was followed by a thundrous boom.
"Holy crap! What was that?"
Jack's glass came down upon the bar with a clunk. "I don't know. You want to go see what it is, instead of just asking pointless questions about it? We're supposed to be bold adventurers, brave soldiers of the Royal Order, not drunken morons, remember."
"At least I'm the only one getting drunk. You're just sitting there drinking your non-alcoholic beverages like the... the... non-alcoholic beverage drinker you are."
"Asking pointless questions and making pointlessly pseudo-offensive comments."
"Yes, yes, whatever. Let's go see what that thingy is."

Jack and Jay clustered (two-person style) around the slowly steaming impact zone.
"You touch it," said Jack nervously.
"No, you. Poke it with a stick or something."
"It kind of looks human."
"And long dead. Really long dead."
"Yeah."
The argument was reluctantly ended as the heavens lit up again, and another object shot forth from the skies, landing next to the first. It appeared to be a sign, only slightly burnt by its hasty arrival. Leaning closer, Firefox read the following enstricption:
This is the long dead body of Mr. Continuity.
Dead from being shot and maimed and hurled through space repeatedly.
If found, please return to Plotline Hotline.
The postage is prepaid.
"Uhh... who's Mr. Continuity?" asked Jack, being not long experienced with the doings of the Tavern.
"Dunno. Maybe there's something in his wallet here that'll help."
"How did you...? Oh, never mind. Sure, let's take a look."
A quick examination of the wallet of Mr. Continuity was conducted, revealing little more than a postmortem, a certificate of frequent dyer's miles, a "Cat in the Hat" style hat, and a resignation notice written by GenEX to a job on some far off planet.
"No, wait, here's a secret pocket."
Included within the secret pocket was a series of documents, giving detailed explanations of exactly what happened during the recent long times of Tavern-inoccupation, how all unresolved plot threads had been cleared up, and why people left the Tavern or story at random intervals.
"Good to get that taken care of, I guess," remarked Jack, shrugging melodramatically.
"Yeah. I guess now we just need a plot of some kind. Or a bartender. Whichever comes first."

Meh. Not one of my better works, but it's always good to tie things into continuity. So to speak. (And before any complains, I know that Blagagnga was the shoot/maim/hurl guy, and that he's dead, but I'm sure there's some perfectly logical reason for Continuity to be here.)

Mwahaha. Long live the WT!

Originally Posted by Unknown Rabbit

(And before any complains, I know that Blagagnga was the shoot/maim/hurl guy, and that he's dead, but I'm sure there's some perfectly logical reason for Continuity to be here.)

Before I ask who Blagagnga is, I'm going to make the completely pointless explanation that it could be because continuity is so scarce, if not nonexistant, in group stories such as this one.

Originally Posted by Coppertop

Mwahaha. Long live the WT!

Rah!

I didn't know there was another original WT story. Can somebody recap what happened during the past year or so? Or at least tell me what's happening now and where I am?

Originally Posted by Hareoic

I didn't know there was another original WT story. Can somebody recap what happened during the past year or so? Or at least tell me what's happening now and where I am?

Last I saw, you were in the Tavern, doing some random thing involving big weapons. Of course, I don't know how you got there, as before that you had been flying off to some distant planet in search of a job, with no memory of events after your introduction on Tubelectric, on the space trip with Evil Arch Villain Woman. Since then, the tavern got deserted again, so it's anybody's guess where anyone is (although it's all documented in Continuity's wallet).

Ok, time to save the thread from dying. This isn't my best attempt, but we need something to work from.

Suddenly suddenly, Jack and Jay were surrounded by a blinding white light and felt themselves being hurtled through time and space, which was painful since they kept getting hit by random numbers and clocks that appeared out of nowhere. Then a big rock (Jay thought it was a rock, though Jack thought it was a large wad of dirt) with red hair (Jay thought it was red hair, Jack thought it was yarn) and antlers (Jay thought they were antlers, Jack thought they were sticks) smashed into them, and knocked them unconsious before screaming "FREEDOM FOR THE LITTLE PEOPLES!" and ran off to wherever it was he was going, leaving Jack and Jay floating around in P.O.S.T.N.O.B.I.L.L.S. knows where, which was somehow relocated to a glue factory during the long period of nothing happening.

When the two awoke, they found themselves in a large green meadow spreading as far as their eyes could see, which wasn't very much, since they had been blinded by the flashing light. They started walking in what they assumed was the direction they would find civilization, (Jay thought they would find civilization, Jack thought they would find shoes, though he wasn't thinking very clearly due to the concussion he suffered from the blow to the head inflicted by the thing in the Time and Space Zone) not realizing that virtually every single person who was part of the War Tavern was sprawled about the planet that they were stranded on.

They were stranded on the planet Bob, where the vicious, ruthless, diabolical, megalomaniacal, bloodthirsty, destructive, terrifying, powerful, and really mean tyrant Lord Mallix ruled, and who could find nothing more pleasureable that the destruction of everything that ever had or will exist in this or any dimension, creating a complete void of nonexistence where everything would suffer from not being able to exist in anywhere. And the Taverners didn't know it yet, but they were the only threat to his plans for absolute annihilation of everything.



There, somebody post something now.

However, one thing blinding flashes of light tend to do is attract attention. And this particular flash of light attracted, quite unfortunatly, the worst possible attention for this situation- the one and only Lord Mallix.
And, while Lord Mallix was interested in this light, he was even more interested in the two creatures brought here by it. He was so interested he was leaning in watching the magic crystal ball in the highest tower of what remained of his castle after his regular castle-blowing-up fits.
"Hohaha!" he boomed (not laughed. He actually said 'Hohaha!'), "What Have We Here? Two Pathetic Little Creatures, Transported Here By One Of My Time Warps? BILL!" He shouted, louder then even his previous statement. Out of the shadows, a generic-looking guy stepped out, wearing a t-shirt with a witty statement about it's owner's sanity cheaply printed on it.
"Yes, sire?" he said in a meek tone, "What is your will?"
"I Want You To Go Fetch Those Pitiful Weaklings That Warped Into The Half-Gone Moor. I Have Decided I Will Have Fun Slowly Cutting Them Into Peices With My Paper Cutter."
"Yes, sir," Bill gulped, looking up at Mallix (who is a full 2 feet higher then Bill.)
"And Stop That Sniveling! Or I Will Stop You!"
"Y-y-y-yes s-s-sir!" Bill stuttered, then ran out.
"My Minions Are So Pitiful They Aren't Worthy Of Pity. Not That I Pity Anyone Anyway." Mallix (still!) boomed, but in a disgusted voice. "Oh Well. I Think I'll Take My Mind Off Of It... I'm Sure This Castle Can Survive Having A Few More Holes." Mallix smiled cruely, then went off to blow more of his castle into nothingness.

Wow, that was a really good addition. Captured the character of Mallix pretty well from the vague description I gave.

Sorry, I just had to compliment you on your addition.

Planet Bob. Lol. Titan AE, anyone?

Originally Posted by Coppertop

Planet Bob. Lol. Titan AE, anyone?

Best line from the whole movie.

One more reply to 10, btw.

Originally Posted by Coppertop

Planet Bob. Lol. Titan AE, anyone?

I just made the name up. I didn't realise it came from a movie. Honest.


Is anybody going to make a continuation yet?

I've abandoned my old WT characters it seems, so I can't really contribute until I develop new ones.

You don't need characters. You can just use other people's characters.

You don't need characters. You can vividly describe a random inanimate object.

Baron von BlackRaptor, was quietly being a chair in the cornor of the room. While whatever action was going on around, the supreme Baron would bare silent witness. He was often quite sad. It's not like HE could go out and get his freak up or rage against things. So one day, when BR was particularly angry, he attempted to buck Lord Rasium from sitting on his crotch, which most people use as the cushion to sit on, down the pit next to where BR was precariously balanced. He tried and tried and tried, but then realized that he had no muscles, and became sad again.

Just be thankful I didn't write about Labratkid the talking toilet.

Originally Posted by Hareoic

(Jay thought they would find civilization, Jack thought they would find shoes, though he wasn't thinking very clearly due to the concussion he suffered from the blow to the head inflicted by the thing in the Time and Space Zone)

How blindingly me of you.

How blindingly what?

Exactly my point.

Originally Posted by 4I Falcon

Exactly my point.

No, seriously, tell me what you mean.

Okay.

Are these stories going to die?

Again?

We need to find someone willing to post a story segment more then once in a thread!

I would write on this, but I'm too busy as it is. So I'll just read it.

Just when things were getting interesting...

When there's an opportunity I'll add a Royal Marine fireteam to save someone from something or kill some horde of monsters.

I'll include a lot of detail and such, go on MSN and ask me to send you the story I'm writing.